I love Earth Day, when once each year people of different backgrounds and faiths gather together to bury an environmentalist alive.

Secret 16913011. Better a CIA front than a CIA backside.

If debates accomplished anything, there wouldn’t be a need for intelligence agencies.

CIA analysis: the too soon joke that predates the event.

Too bad for a lot of people that beauty isn’t skin wide

Naked intelligence officer (‘nā-kəd in-‘te-lə-jən(t)s ‘ä-fə-sər)1 : an intelligence officer in a state of undress 2 : an intelligence officer whose cover has been compromised3 : an intelligence officer, in reality fully clothed, disguised as...

Holy shit, he was harder that a rod of steel, and as his leg ground out a torturous rhythm between my thighs, I realized I was hotter than spring in Seattle.This was not a dream,...

Ever notice that phrenologists have funny-shaped heads?

Drama and comedy, to me ,are all about being surprising, coherent, and true, all at once.

COBOL er i dag uten tvil verdens mest brukte høynivå programmeringsspråk. Det har vært i kontinuerlig bruk siden den første kompilatoren så dagens lys i 1960. En rekke versjoner av COBOL er blitt standardisert og...

A Christine Lavin show combines music, comedy, knitting, twirling, a little science and education, some audience participation, and a whole lot of fun. She often holds knitting circles in her dressing room before the show,...

On the other side of St John’s house is a fake egg timer who can’t maintain an erection. He shares the property with a glossy beef burger called Tom, who has been painted by a...

CASSIO: Dost thou hear, my honest friend?CLOWN: No, I hear not your honest friend, I hear you.CASSIO: Prithee, keep up thy quillets.

Ever since the robot was first invented, there have been people who swear up and down that this marks the first step towards the fall of man … To be fair, their arguments are backed...

A kitten is the delight of a household. All day long a comedy is played out by an incomparable actor.

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: “Iraq: incredible weapons – incredible weapons.” How do you know that? “Uh,...

There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not...

Comedy too can sometimes discern what is right.

Secrets are dangerous.” Gottfried Baumauer.

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.

Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat’s piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark

If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.

Commercial comedy’s often set up to feature an ironist makingdevastating sport of someone who’s naive or sentimental or pretentious orpompous.

You know, I was a huge fan of comedy and movies and TV growing up, and I was able to memorize and mimic a lot of things, not realizing that that meant I probably wanted...

You two have just reached the level of annoyingly cute.

If she did bitch-slap me, I’d bitch-slap her right back, but I resented the word bitch and all its familiar forms, as it was degrading to women and dogs everywhere.

Pop, please, it’s hideous,” Trick said.

Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

Fuck it… That’s really the attitude that keeps a family together, it’s not “we love each other”, it’s just “fuck it, man.

Make requests, not demands. “Please” kill that zombie, honey, I’m out of bullets.

Comedy is hard work. People expect you to be funny 24/7. So if you’re not constantly cracking up your friends, it can hurt you professionally. They may not read your book or come to your...

Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.

Water!’ cried Marie.’Vinegar!’ recommended the bell-boy.’Eu-de-Cologne!’ said Bill.’Pepper!’ said Lord Tidmouth.Mary had another suggestion.’Give her air!’So had the bell-boy.’Slap her hands!’Lord Tidmouth went further.’Sit on her head!’ he advised.

I am going to kill you,” he hissed.She gulped. “Don’t you want to lecture me first?”He stared at her with a heavy dose of stupefaction.”I take that back,” he said with precisely clippedwords. “First I...

Twoa said, obviously still in my brain. “It was my pheromones,” she said defensively. I looked up at her; she was sniffing herself. She looked down at me. “Okay, maybe it wasn’t ALL the pheromones,”...

To actually know one’s ass from a hole in the ground is to appreciate that the difference is mostly cosmetic.

I found myself surrounded by really old veterans wearing hats that said, “Retired Marine – SEMPER FI.” These hats didn’t appear to fit on their heads, but instead seemed to hover over them.At one point,...

Less is more, but only marginally.

When preserving for posterity, use ¾ cup of sugar for each cup of item preserved, seal tightly, and store in a dry, dark place.

Secret 18033-3. If the key to her heart is 128 bits or greater, you’re probably wasting your time.

How do I know you’re who you say you aren’t?

Critics claim to see no evidence of CIA’s new policy of transparency. Well duh.

Intelink is the apocalypse it was created to help the Intelligence Community prevent.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were Leibnizian monadic reflections of the One Thing.

As a conservative, while I oppose the invasion of privacy, I fully support the privatization of that invasion.

Comedy is a necessity to get through life with the fewest scars. Humor is the best antidote to help relieve all struggles.

I think I just blew my own mind.

When it rains it pours and when it shines you get melanoma.

As we travel in time and on Equator, we will find our souls and then move in time towards time.