Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Me and my partners had been stealing cars for a while.

October was even better than I expected. Cars are cheaper, GM is back from the strike, and despite what’s happening in the stock market, consumer confidence levels are high.

A fuel pump is a fountain drink machine for cars. And people who want to save the environment and get drunk and run to work.

This is a well-established procedure, especially for utilitarian cars.

You can’t have thousands of cars without good computers on the electric grid.

We’re spending a lot more time in our cars commuting, and we’re doing a lot more in cars, especially with new technologies. We do a lot of things and we don’t get caught. But in...

The best way to sell a car is to first try to sell them an airplane, then a horse, and then finally bring up the newest model automobile you have for sale.

Who buys French cars? Not me.

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible – cowards and fools.

Our people’s standard of living has gone way up. People have been able to buy washers and dryers and cars. They’ve put new roofs on their homes. We’ve been able to buy more Christmas gifts...

I like cup holders—in cars, as well as in jockstraps. I would have played football, but the only helmet I had belonged to a bicycle that coach said was illegal on the field.

I had a dream I was in an old woman’s closet peeing on a giant shoe. Sorry grandma I thought it was the bathroom. I hate vacations where someone carries you out of the car...

The banked oval tracks are obsolete tracks for Indy cars.

Cars

More books, more racing and more foolishness with cars and motorcycles are in the works.

Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.

She had originally agreed to appear naked, but on seeing the cars informed me that she would only appear topless—an interesting logic was at work there.

To come across as younger than they are: Women buy creams that promise to slow aging; men buy fast cars.

We wanted more than anything else in the world to be normal, but we failed.” The 1960’s and 1970’s were very strange times, but Mandy missed it all, she missed the days when Super-8 was...

When cars are launched, we see the first year of a redesigned model as less reliable than later years. First-year blues, we call it.

I had a dream about you. I was a used car salesman, and you were in the market for a new horse. I suggested we both compromise, and meet in the middle—like the year 1950.

These are definitely the hardest cars I’ve driven — ever.

Nah. It’s part of the gift: you getting to think about it for the next three days.

We were testing too close to an event. We didn’t have time to react once we got the cars back to the shop to make changes of any substance.

The city isn’t obligated to permit an event on a public street that encourages the vandalism of subway cars in the name of selling T-shirts and video games.

We made love like two cars that were out of gas. I tried to fill her up, but couldn’t because I myself was empty.

The inside of the old Camaro smelled like asphalt and desire, gasoline and dreams.

I love vintage cars because you can do so much more to them.

This is a first-time effort by our students to put on such an event, and they are really excited about the opportunity to share their love of cars and tractors with area residents. We hope...

I used to be a bumper sticker kind of writer. Now I’m more developed, and my writing often takes up whole bumpers.

I said I’d drive to her place. But she lives in her car, so I don’t see why she couldn’t just drive her place to my place.

A fast car can make women ‘like’ a man; and a man ‘like’ women … fast.

In a sense the car has become a prosthetic, and though prosthetics are usually for injured or missing limbs, the auto-prosthetic is for a conceptually impaired body or a body impaired by the creation of...

I haven’t trusted my car since I bought a horse. I just can’t talk to my car like I can Mr. Needles. Cowboys make better lovers. Or so I hear—not that I’d know from personal...

Wisdom of the Ages “Car Commercials” One of the last times you’re ever gonna see that overpriced s-box not stuck in a traffic jam.

Men may or may not be better drivers than women, but they seem to die more often trying to prove that they are.

Drivers don’t know what’ going in these race cars, ever. Jimmie isn’t really into knowing what is going on with the race cars. He shows up and drives and gives his feedback and goes home.

There is definitely more interest in fuel-efficient cars like hybrids. When the price of gas is high, everyone is interested.

I lost my virginity in the back seat of a Buick. Not because I’m a romantic, but because my grandpa and grandma were in the front seats.

…for if a woman’s body can attract the holy angels, how much more the unholy man.

The American really loves nothing but his automobile: not his wife his child nor his country nor even his bank-account first (in fact he doesn’t really love that bank-account nearly as much as foreigners like...

I need a SUV, for me and my four sisters. So, I’ve narrowed it down to four, kind of expensive, cars.

A car is a couch with wheels. My windshield wipers don’t work, so I’ve decided to stop watering my living room carpet. Honk if you want coffee, and I’ll pour you an umbrellaful.

The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at...

We just didn’t have the speed the Newman-Haas cars have,

How the hell does he expect both of us to fit into that tiny metal trap? Even if we could squeeze in, the tires will probably pop. In fact, let’s just carry it over. It’ll...

All human males were as fascinated with cars as they were with breasts.

When kids my age were picking up toy cars, I used to buy toy guns.

About 5,280 feet.” It was true. Ever since the car ran out of gas a mile back, and we were forced to walk, I’ve been thinking a lot about life, love, and how much I...