If birthdays fell from the sky like Saturdays shaped like saxophones, I’d learn how to play the flute on Tuesdays.

I wasn’t really qualified to be on Saturday Night Live – I’m not like an impressionist or anything.

It’s not that we spend five days looking forward to just two. It’s that most people do what they enjoy most on those two days. Imagine living a life where everyday are your Saturdays and...

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

It’s always nerve-wracking when you’re hosting ‘Saturday Night Live.’ You either sink or swim.

A kind of joyous hysteria moved into the room, everything flying before the wind, vehicles outside getting dented to hell, the crowd sweaty and the smells of aftershave, manure, clothes dried on the line, your...

The cool thing about unemployment is every day is Saturday.

Why should I care about you first kiss,’ he said. ‘You can kiss anyone you like. But sometimes if you wanted to kiss me, that would be all right, too.

Every morning I think: What’s the latest I can sleep in ‘til, and still be on time for work? Well, I used to think that, before unemployment turned every day into a Saturday.

You can kiss anyone you like. But if you sometimes wanted to kiss me, that would be all right, too.” His blush was so deep September could feel the heat of it.She leaned in, and...

It was as if each of them sensed vaguely that the Saturday afternoons of youth are few, and precious, and this feeling which neither of them could have defined or described made every moment of...

I want to be a footballer – and that means playing on a Saturday afternoon.

It was four o’clock of a stickily wet Saturday. As long as it is anything from Monday to Friday the average library attendant goes around thanking her stars she isn’t a school-teacher; but the last...

I’m not sure what it was or where she sprayed it, but her scent will be the end of the life I loved. And I will find comfort in the simpleness of sitting with her...

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have “plans.

Saturday mornings, I’ve learned, are a great opportunity for kids to sneak into your bed, fall back asleep, and kick you in the face.

With Saturday morning cartoons, you’ve got to start at 6 A.M., right?

I tend to think that there is a sophistication to everything at ‘Saturday Night Live,’ including the sketches.

I wish I got a lie-in on Saturday mornings but I never do.

Compassion is a lifetime business. You can’t say something like, “I will have compassion on Monday, Thursdays and Fridays only. But for the rest, I will be cruel”. That is hypocrisy.

There was nothing like a Saturday – unless it was the Saturday leading up to the last week of school and into summer vacation. That of course was all the Saturdays of your life rolled...