We made love like Leftover Tuesday you eat cold on a warm Wednesday morning. And the next day I didn’t hear from her until the following yesterday.

I fell in love like Mondays at noon. Too bad none were around to witness my epic Tuesday. Let’s make Wednesday one last time before you have to Thurday.

Fenugreek, Tuesday’s spice, when the air is green like mosses after rain.

I had a dream about you. The Tuesdays were outside of my castle demanding that I hand you over to them. They weren’t seeking justice—they were out for vengeance. You were Wendy Wednesday, the last...

I made Tuesday Salad like Monday morning is Sunday night. Do you agree on the difference a day can make in the realm of love?

I’d like to tweeze all the Tuesdays of the year, and all the Mondays off my chest.

We made love like Tuesday at noon, even though it was Thursday at 3:00, and then again at 3:03. (I have the stamina of a water lily).

We are the wire, and tomorrow is like yesterday with a furry back. Don’t pet me, Tuesday! Please don’t Wednesday with my emotions.

Too bad my car key won’t start my house. And to answer your unasked question, no you can’t use my toaster like a dual vagina. At least not for the two-for-one price. That price only...

I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to participate in my choreographed dance routine, bring a football helmet and a half...

I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills.

I fell in love with her that day. I realized it when someone told me it was Tuesday.

I am your Wednesday Sex Meatloaf. At least, I’d like to be. This Tuesday I have a vacancy, if you like leftovers from six days before.

Compassion is a lifetime business. You can’t say something like, “I will have compassion on Monday, Thursdays and Fridays only. But for the rest, I will be cruel”. That is hypocrisy.

Today I am in love. Today is Tuesday, although the day of the week has no influence or impact on the fact that I’m in love. It could be Monday and I’d still be in...

If birthdays fell from the sky like Saturdays shaped like saxophones, I’d learn how to play the flute on Tuesdays.

A few days later, Tuesday quietly crossed our apartment as I read a book and, after a nudge against my arm, put his head on my lap. As always, I immediately checked my mental state,...

Today I’m in love. Today is Tuesday, though that’s not why I’m in love. I’m in love with Friday, and I actually fell in love yesterday.

Why does February feel like one big Tuesday?

I am sitting here at thirty-six feeling like I am responsible for the holocaust for all that is toxic and wrong. Maybe it’s because I eat meat, and I stepped on three ants last Tuesday.

If my penis gets enough water, could my erection grow long and straight like a pine tree? Come over next Tuesday to find out! Bring a friend, but not a lumberjack.

I made a t-shirt that says, “Today’s my birthday” on it, so that I can ask for hugs from strangers and point to the text on my tee as the reason why they should oblige....