I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bits. It was the best sex I’ve ever served to an unsuspecting customer.

I wondered how a man ever got an English girl into bed. What did they do with her hockey stick?

DuendeI can’t remember her name.It’s not as though I’ve been in bedwith that many women.The truth is I can’t even rememberher face. I kind of know how strongher thighs were, and her beauty.But what I...

I had a dream about you. You wanted to go for a walk, and I wanted to start a parade. I suggested we team up, but you said you’d rather have sex with a cactus....

Me,” he said.

I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make love, and that is why I am the Director of Redundancy.

With sex, I’d recommend practicing a lot. But remember, have fun with it. After all, you do want to get your money’s worth.

If I were a hermaphrodite, and someone told me to go fuck myself, I’d reply, “Why thank you. I think I will!

I make love with the accuracy of Joe Montana, and from a distance of up to 100 yards.

Me mating with a midget is like a skyscraper having sex with a cathedral. But still I’d like to try. Just not while mass is in session.

It was a dumb mistake, sleeping with her, and I learned from the experience. Still, I’d gladly make the same mistake tonight if she calls.

When I masturbate, I pump my hand so fast it’s like a hummingbird blur. But I make love like the anti-hummingbird. In fact, in bed I’m so slow with my love making it’s almost indistinguishable...

Due to unfavorable weather (or, rather, favorable), we couldn’t make love in the rain. So instead we had sex in the shower, despite grandpa taking a bath in it.

My bark has meow, and in bed I’m in the moment like instant coffee. Do you prefer cream or sugar in your orgasms?

I’m sexually attracted to statues made out of decomposing food. Is it normal to be hungry during intercourse?

I want to undress you, vulgarize you a bit.

I wonder, though… what would it be like? To be that close to a boy and have him see all of you, no holding back. Would it be scary only for a second or two,...

He stabbed into her, driving deeply, repeatedly, iron-hard and demanding. She welcomed the piercing pleasure of his urgency, opening her legs wider, pushing her skirts away and wrapping her legs about him. His thrusts pushed...

Her cry was the saddest sound of orgasm that I had ever heard.

From an interview with Susie Bright:SB: You were recently reviewed by the New York Times. How do you think the mainstream media regards sex museums, schools and cultural centers these days? What’s their spin versus...

Someone this gorgeous should be on display in a museum.

YesIsaidyesyesyesyesyes…YesIsaidyes! andagainyesyesyes — Molly Bloom

I couldn’t care less about sex unless I meet someone who I think is wonderful.

After an Indian meal they went back to Jamie’s flat and Tony did at least two things to him on the sofa that no one had ever done to him before then came back and...

Any sex outside of the marriage bond between a man and a woman is violating God’s law.

Faccio solo finta di essere sfacciata. In realtà me la faccio addosso dalla paura. Questa cena fuori mi rende confusa. Non so se voglio davvero una storia lunga, o solo una scopata veloce. E tu?

In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips?

We can’t ignore right-wing demagogues who insist that the word of the doctor who proclaims a child’s sex at birth somehow holds more sway over the reality of the body than the word of the...

All your life you look to America for those home-grown, corn-fed tits that the Yank bitches all sprout when they’re about fourteen – those bulging DDs that you wank about as a kid as you...

I missed talking to you, and playing with you, and touching you, and seeing you smile. I missed just … sitting next to you. I’ve never missed anyone or anything that much

Globally, millions of married men and women engage the servicesof sex workers each year. Despite growing health concerns aboutthe increased risk of STDs and HIV AIDS this trade continues toblossom, leading to the premature termination...

Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.Good things come to those who wait.

Sick and perverted always appeals to me.

Join me in Olympic Heros for Abstinence. The best sex is no sex.

In terms of sex between same-sex partners, the objection that “the parts don’t fit” doesn’t make sense on even the most logical level. If the parts didn’t work together, frankly, people wouldn’t be putting them...

Would you like to sit?” Kellen asked her.”You’d better do it soon,” Owen whispered close to her ear, “or I’m going to bend you over that table and break the club’s no-penetration-in-the-lounge rule.

To all ladies who like offering sex to a man in the first few weeks of dating, this is what happens: Once he penetrates you, he will start seeing invisible spots on your face, which...

My stomach flipped. I stopped. This guy was trending in my mind big time.

We are all somewhere else, during.

His body had almost no hair and his naked little circumcised johnson was nearly as pale as the rest of him, white as a boy’s – perhaps over time one’s genitals emerge from the pots...

She whispers in my ear: ‘”Tell me that you wan’ fuck me hard, make me sweat.” In the excitement, she misses out a word. “I want to fuck you so hard that your body drips...

The point of sex is… Sex doesn’t have a point.

How much misery . . . how much needless despair has been caused by a series of biological mismatches, a misalignment of the hormones and pheromones? Resulting in the fact that the one you love...

If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the dirtier it is, the more pleasurable it is bound to be.

las petites morts”: because the things that bring us passion tend to slip past our defenses, to creep insidiously into every facet of our consciousnesses and kill us as ruthlessly, and efficiently, as any drug.

I don’t have a problem being labeled a sex symbol, though I personally don’t feel very sexy about myself.

An educated woman is seen as a human being with a vagina. An uneducated woman is seen as a vagina with a human being.

Love is giving up control. It’s surrendering the desire to control the other person. The two—love and controlling power over the other person—are mutually exclusive. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to...

You only need one part of your body, and you’ll be sliding that into warmth.

The wild women in his lap,’ my father enthused, ‘laying their breasts on his head.’There was a moment of stunned silence. Then my mother spoke slowly, with an edge to her voice. ‘I think you...