I can cross my arms and I can cross my legs, but nothing seems to cross my mind.

I can Grandma like nobody’s business. Hey, mind your own, grandpa, before I go all Uncle Sam on your ass.

must” in mustard. Sadly, the only man alive who understands what I mean is dead. RIP Mitch Ketchup.

A brick is to a blanket, as the moon is to Sun Tzu. Fear my fearlessness!

A blanket could be used to find the Brick of Truth. Many lies will be layered on the Brick of Truth to try to cover it up, but the blanket will cover up all the...

Two bricks, parallel and horizontal, equals an equal sign.

I need more frugality. I wonder where I can buy some.

If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.

To a man who has spent centuries seeing to only his own needs, you are indeed high maintenance, but I’m finding I do not mind maintaining you. -Zacharel

The Builders are building with you in mind, dear citizen, so don’t worry your tiny mind about whether the bricks they are using are going to construct schools or prisons. They won’t tell, and you...

Inspiration is someone who gives you freedom to think out of his own ways. He doesn’t want you to believe in his own ideas.

I’ve always wanted to go out with a bang, that’s why I carry two bricks around with me wherever I go, so when I leave a room I clap them together.

Some quotations,” said Zellaby, “are greatly improved by lack of context.

Maybe it’s some Bioterrorism test being run by the government. Don’t drink the tap water or seafood until I do some testing.” Bubba “I don’t normally drink my seafood Bubba, but” Nick

Instead of stocks investors should invest in blankets, that way they’ll at least have something to keep them warm after they’ve lost all their money when the company goes under.

A blanket could be used to aid a sinner’s nightly prayer. I’m not shaking because I’m cold—I’m trembling with trepidation over the Wrath of God.

A blanket could be used for anti-population-control purposes. Get naked and get under the blanket and I’ll show you how it works.

A blanket could be used to tell you exactly what I mean, at precisely the moment I don’t mean it. When I say go, Don’t!

A brick could be used to crush the Fruit of Desire and make the Juice of Destiny. Drink it before I lose my erection.

A blanket could be used as a tarp to cover an outdoor swimming pool the size of a bed. As far as training goes, swimming is such a snooze of a sport that I think...

I took a nap and used a napkin as a blanket. Obviously it was a small nap.

A blanket could be used to line the walls of the Love Chamber, to soundproof it so that nobody hears you scream.

A brown blanket could be used in place of chocolate frosting on a cake, and since nobody will want to eat it, you’ll be left with more cake for yourself.

I don’t worry about identity theft, because I don’t even know who I am as a person. So if I’m not even in possession of my own identity, how can it be stolen from me?

A brick could be used to double back, donkey levitate cough meow cough meow hiss on giraffe shaft stroke a local bloke bludgeon Armageddon—not my arm, Sorry, I think I just had a stroke.

A brick could be used to make life easier. Start carrying one around with you everywhere you go, and you’ll see what I mean.

A brick could be used as a cuddle partner. Just glue some fur on it and voila! It’s as good as snuggling with any dead animal you find on the side of the highway. (Which...

A brick could be used in conjunction with another brick to be the Democrat and Republican Presidential candidates. People will say, Vote for the brick on the left, or, The brick on the right is...

If you come by my place, you might see a wheelbarrow full of broken bricks. I broke them with my fist. I was practicing for your face.

His first name is Brooks, but his last name isn’t. His last name is Wrinkled, unlike his shirt (he isn’t wearing one).

I always wear roller skates when I ride my bicycle. The more wheels the better, and that’s what makes me a better lover. You know you want to go for a spin. I’ll bring the...

I remember the first time I fogged up your astronaut’s helmet. That night we made space like outer love. But I kept it cool like Coors Light in the fridge, even though I felt heavy...

A brick could be wrapped in plastic and sold individually to toddlers as toys. (Warning: Bricks can be harmful if swallowed. If ingested, please contact a physician first, and then the manager of a circus.)

A brick could be used to smash my bottled up rage, and a blanket could be laid down beforehand to catch the shards.

A brick could be used to decorate a house. And not just one brick, thousands could be stacked and affixed together and really make your house not only feel like a home, but less drafty...

My melon soulCrushed by your Gallagher of apathy

A brick could be used to create a new society, a perfect society, where there is no inequality, there are no laws, and most importantly, there are no people.

A blanket could be used to offset things likely to set you off. When you start to get hot, just wrap yourself in a warm blanket until you’re comforted and you cool down.

A brick could be used to start a civil war. And then that same brick could be used to start building the country up again after everything is destroyed.

I can grow a pair.

I’d much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick.

It ain’t polite to taste people. Shit.

Never be too confident or doubtful when everything is uncertain in life.

You’ve messed with the wrong god if you get keys to willy wonka chocolate factory and diabetes the same day..

The More Interesting Than.” I would say get Miley Cyrus to do it, but she isn’t interesting enough.

A blanket could help me tell you I love you. Well, it could if I did, but I don’t, so I’ll just use the blanket to go to sleep on our relationship.

A blanket could be used to stop abuse. Don’t cover up the atrocity—cover up your head, because what you don’t see, may as well not exist.

A brick could be used to separate the Jorges from the hoorays.

A blanket could be used as a spy, because if you need to blend in and go under cover, what’s better than a banket?

I don’t need a blanket. I need your naked body on top of me.