Love is me plus you. But what’s with the midget in the corner recording all of our interactions? I thought I fired him yesterday.

I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some.

I long to belong like a midget longs to be long. Footlong hotdogs are 12 inches too short to take seriously, and I vote with my wallet. Sadly, there are no refunds in politics.

We all long for something. Midgets long to be long, but I long to belong.

In my new job, I have big shoes to fill. My predecessor was a midget.

I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall.

I had a dream about you. You were 1882, and I was 1982. You said you were older, and I replied that I was taller. Still, for being a midget, you were pretty good at...

I am one pair of roses away from the grave,” I told the midget with the twelve-inch erection. It wasn’t his—he was just holding it for a friend (that impressive penis belonged to a much...

I snorted powdered flamingoes while I pondered love. I sat at the bar two hours waiting for my ice on the rocks to melt so I could drink it and leave, but it was like...

I got excited when I saw a midget, and then disappointed when I realized it was just a child. Those things are so common.

I love with the heart of two men. Well, I would, if that damned neurosurgeon would go ahead and replace my left brain with the heart of a midget.

I got a small package in the mail today, and I thought it was the midget stripper I bought off eBay. But it was just a pair of shoes I ordered. Didn’t matter, I still...

Would you mind if I used your kitchen sink to take a bath? I have the hygiene of a midget.

Love is a rainbow of emotion. My favorite part is the pot of gold and the Irish midget.

The size of your sighs tell how deeply you’re in love. How I feel is very much like a stressed and distressed midget trying to breathe.

I long for your love like the length of a midget.

Just like wearing black makes you look thinner, wearing a midget makes you look taller.

It takes me a while to drag him out, he’s got himself stuck to the axle, and by the time I am done and stand over the body something strange has started to happen. The...

I’m 50% in love. To put that into a visual, I am a 3’ tall midget aspiring to be a 6’ tall man, with the coffee capacity of a narcoleptic camel.

Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights.