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Midget  Quotes
Love is me plus you. But what’s with the midget in the corner recording all of our interactions? I thought I fired him yesterday.

—Jarod Kintz

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FireFiredFiring
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I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdCrazyFunny
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I long to belong like a midget longs to be long. Footlong hotdogs are 12 inches too short to take seriously, and I vote with my wallet. Sadly, there are no refunds in politics.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdBelongBelonging
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We all long for something. Midgets long to be long, but I long to belong.

—Jarod Kintz

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BelongingHumorLong
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In my new job, I have big shoes to fill. My predecessor was a midget.

—Jarod Kintz

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EmploymentHumorJob
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I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall.

—Jarod Kintz

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AgeBirthdayBirthdays
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I had a dream about you. You were 1882, and I was 1982. You said you were older, and I replied that I was taller. Still, for being a midget, you were pretty good at...

—Jarod Kintz

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BasketballCenturyDream
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I am one pair of roses away from the grave,” I told the midget with the twelve-inch erection. It wasn’t his—he was just holding it for a friend (that impressive penis belonged to a much...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdDeathErection
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I snorted powdered flamingoes while I pondered love. I sat at the bar two hours waiting for my ice on the rocks to melt so I could drink it and leave, but it was like...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdBarDrink
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I got excited when I saw a midget, and then disappointed when I realized it was just a child. Those things are so common.

—Jarod Kintz

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ChildCommonDisappointment
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I love with the heart of two men. Well, I would, if that damned neurosurgeon would go ahead and replace my left brain with the heart of a midget.

—Jarod Kintz

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BrainHeartHumor
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I got a small package in the mail today, and I thought it was the midget stripper I bought off eBay. But it was just a pair of shoes I ordered. Didn’t matter, I still...

—Jarod Kintz

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DanceDancingHumor
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Would you mind if I used your kitchen sink to take a bath? I have the hygiene of a midget.

—Jarod Kintz

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BathCleanCleanliness
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Love is a rainbow of emotion. My favorite part is the pot of gold and the Irish midget.

—Jarod Kintz

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EmotionGoldHumor
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The size of your sighs tell how deeply you’re in love. How I feel is very much like a stressed and distressed midget trying to breathe.

—Jarod Kintz

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BreatheDistressEmotions
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I long for your love like the length of a midget.

—Jarod Kintz

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FunnyHumorLove
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Just like wearing black makes you look thinner, wearing a midget makes you look taller.

—Jarod Kintz

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BlackFashionHumor
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It takes me a while to drag him out, he’s got himself stuck to the axle, and by the time I am done and stand over the body something strange has started to happen. The...

—Dan Vyleta

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CatsDead-BodyMidget
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I’m 50% in love. To put that into a visual, I am a 3’ tall midget aspiring to be a 6’ tall man, with the coffee capacity of a narcoleptic camel.

—Jarod Kintz

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CamelCoffeeHumor
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Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdFunnyHumor
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