I had a dream about you. I was a melted ice-cream repairman, and you had a microwave for a head. You made fun of my trade, so I made you eat tinfoil until your head...

Sex!” She must be one freaky nymphomaniac, because everything she says is carefully designed to get me thinking about sex.

He offered to pay me in agriculture, and I said I didn’t want that, I want money. I told him agriculture won’t put food on my table.

I’m a little more reserved in person than people expect. But I warm up quickly, like leftovers. Meatloaf, anyone?

The discovery of a new dish does more for the happiness of the human race than the discovery of a star.

However, my next-door neighbors had an entirely different manner of eating. When I’d go over there for dinner, it was buffet style, only a truly global sampling. Beluga caviar from Iran, with each individual egg...

Standing in the kitchen when you’re hungry is torture. That’s why I moved my fridge to my dungeon, where I keep the prisoners.

There’s a hair in my food! Well, I did order all the cuddles I can eat. A buffet of sleep is how I describe my love to strangers on trains.

Inviting the invading army over for dinner, buffet style, is a bad idea. Especially when I just took a bath in the last of your mac and cheese.

I come from a home where gravy is a beverage.

This is the ultimate strategy, going up the food chain and building a case against the big fish. You want to go up the food chain, not down the food chain by giving a deal...

Edevart var alene mand om alt om bord og på land… han skulde nok ha hat nogen til å koke mat for sig; men også det fik gå som det kunde, han levet på tørmat...

There are very few men and women, I suspect, who cooked and marketed their way through the past war without losing forever some of the nonchalant extravagance of the Twenties. They will feel, until their...

We would want to allow imports of food at chap prices and other things that would take care of social problems, Fischer said in an appearance on CNN’s

Not much goes on in the mind of a squirrel.Huge portions of what is loosely termed “the squirrel brain” are given over to one thought: food.The average squirrel cogitation goes something like this: I wonder...

Before you rush off trying to see everything you can, educate yourself.

Food and eating often mask our pain, our inner longing for God, for acceptance. It is key to know our motivation for eating as well as for other actions. Why do I eat? Am I...

Food, a French man told me once, is the first wealth. Grow it right, and you feel insanely rich, no matter what you own.

You know, that was what we missed most. Not our beds, not our homes, not even our mothers. We would talk about food.

As long as one egg looks pretty much like another, all the chickens like chicken, and beef beef, the substitution of quantity for quality will go unnoticed by most consumers, but it is becoming increasingly...

Because cooks love the social aspect of food, cooking for one is intrinsically interesting. A good meal is like a present, and it can feel goofy, at best, to give yourself a present. On the...

How good it is, when you have roast meat or suchlike foods before you, to impress on your mind that this is the dead body of a fish, this the dead body of a bird...

What ees thees? Zee cheese, it does not eat.

The German birds didn’t taste as good as their French cousins, nor did the frozen Dutch chickens we bought in the local supermarkets. The American poultry industry had made it possible to grow a fine-looking...

In my experience, anybody besides your mom that feeds you is going to want something in exchange for it.

Food didn’t kill people, for God’s sake, people killed people. With their harping, and criticizing, and careful living.

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.

Food stall owners reach out with menus, calling out their dinner selections like midway prizes

I don’t drink coffee I take tea my dearI like my toast done on one side …”(Englishman in New York)

Cookies don’t make us fat. They’re not to blame for our obesity epidemic. You know what else isn’t to blame? Fast food, chips, candy, technology, soda, or anything else. The choices we make over a...

The lesson about food is that the most predictable and the most orderly outcomes are always not the best. They are just easier to describe. Fads are orderly. Food carts and fires aren’t. Feeding the...

I’m a man. Men cook outside. That outdoor grilling is a manly pursuit has long been beyond question. If this wasn’t understood, you’d never get grown men to put on those aprons with pictures of...

Don’t let sickness, depression, and disease THUG YOU OUT. Eat healthier, think healthier, speak healthier, and more positively over your life. When you do so, you will soon begin to conquer your life and your...

If everyone around me is eating food that I’m allergic to, it makes me uneasy. But all of my friends are pretty considerate. They would never try to make me eat anything that would end...

I was so mad, I reached into the drawer for her fake sushi eraser and put it in my pocket. Serves her right for being such a big, fat, Eggo-scarfing liar.

The food is less than average.

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate.

Just eat some chex mix and have a glass of milk and you’ll be fine.

We worked side by side building our sandwiches. Mine, just a few modest layers of meat and cheese, with a bit of lettuce for some added crunchiness; his, a Dagwood, piled high with turkey, ham,...

A Marketplace store’s overall sales volume is typically double to triple what an average Kroger food and drug combo store would do.

Hasty Pudding is no small potatoes (sorry to mix the food references), known for its famous alumni and much-hyped annual awards ceremonies. One year Mel Gibson recited Hamlet and escaped from a straitjacket. Tom Cruise...

But if you like, you can come share a tasty meal of bread, raisins, and fresh Burgos cheese. With that, and The Count of Monte Cristo, anyone can live to a hundred.

Let us not take what we eat for granted; let us view our meals as an opportunity to give our Lord praise.

When you celebrate, there is sure to be cake.”Florence Ditlow, in “The Bakery Girls.

Harry had worked his way through the American Dream and come to the conclusion that is was composed of a good lunch and a deep red wine that could soar.

I am the broth of love. Make soup to me.

The beautiful part about killing someone with an icicle is the murder weapon melts and then evaporates. And your assassination can be fruit flavored!

You are eating the sea, that’s it, only the sensation of a gulp of sea water has been wafted out of it by some sorcery, and you are on the verge of remembering you don’t...

Poor, darling fellow-he died of food. He was killed by the dinner table.

I’ll be busy for the next eight weeks, so let’s set this for November 15th.MENUI want lamb or venison steak. Baked potatoes with honey butter. Corn on the cob. Rolls. And apple pie, like the...