At times we were criticized for doing too much slapstick. I don’t believe in mild comedy, and neither does Lucy.

…you’re either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.

Comedy works best when people recognise themselves.

The point of tantric sex was supposedly to harness sexual energy to awaken higher consciousness. It was just like yoga, but way more fun.

I was hoping that the appeal of the show would stretch beyond the anglophile and comedy-obsessed.

You gonna do somethin’? Or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?

here’s why I take comedies seriously: they present and celebrate the world in which we survive our own and others’ mistakes, follies, transgressions, and deep sins. However lightly, dimly, or bleakly, comedies revel in our...

Because I’m not really certain she’d make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.

Facebook should start publishing breakup stories. ‘So and so and so and so are no longer in a relationship.’ With a tombstone next to it.

In college, my teachers were usually after me for going after comedy too much, leaning too much in that direction.

I couldn’t have made a better shot, if I had been one of those detectives who see a chap walking along the street and deduce that he is a retired manufacturer of poppet valves named...

Roses are red, Violettes are bllue,Valentines day is consumerous crap,now don’t you have ironing to do”Unlikely thing to read in a valentines day card

There are many other little refinements too, Mr. Bohlen. You’ll see them all when you study the plans carefully. For example, there’s a trick that nearly every writer uses, of inserting at least one long,...

Secret 80916003. If it doesn’t hurt when they snatch it, it isn’t worth dangling.

The rain in Ukraine falls mainly on the insane.

When you’re still typing ‘whilst,’ someone else has already finished typing ‘while.

Here’s a creepy web trick: do a Google image search on ‘my grandma.’ … It’s her, isn’t it?

If you can’t be with the √-1 you love, love the √-1 you’re with.

The Central Intelligence Agency is a CIA front.

Secret 737160022162. It’s unthinkable only to the extent it’s doable.

I didn’t come from a broken home – more like deliberately imploded.

When my mother passed away several years ago—well, wait a minute. Actually, she didn’t ‘pass away.’ She died. Something about that verb, ‘to pass away’ always sounds to me as if someone just drifted through...

Conduct Covert UAV Operations Naked

Outwardly, I hope, I wear my usual mask of detachment, even irony, for there has never been a situation,however dire, even this one, that did not strike me as containing at least some element of...

Nobody who is a Penn & Teller fan thinks of us first and foremost as magicians, but as a comedy team.

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.

I once went to one of his Virgin Vie parties and had a really good time watching Chas having a paddy whilst trying to put on Dave’s socks, before realising that he only had two...

I’m not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.

The second rule of improvisation is not only to say yes, but YES, AND. You are supposed to agree and then _add something of your own._ If I start a scene with ‘I can’t believe...

There are 3 reasons for why you can’t beat me. First, I’m better looking than you are. Second, your blows are too light. And third, there’s nothing in the world I can’t tear up.

I didn’t wait for Luck. I raced after it with a truck.

What you call idiot points, I call awesome dollars. ~Seth

If you find yourself cutting corners, go in a circle instead

He’s in a side room alone with her and it’s far too fucking hot.

An overnight bag with the company logo – a white silhouette of a finch (which once perched on the curved back of a stallion representing cofounder, Orwell, but has now been ‘adjusted’) – sits motionless...

She forks up a little nibble and wedges it in her mouth. “Yum,” she croaks.Mrs. Wong looks pleased. “It’s made with tofu.”I can’t resist. “Free-range tofu?”My mother looks over at me sharply. Mrs. Wong takes...

If you knew how many hidden depths I had your pretty eyes would pop right out of your winsome face. Not literally of course – that would be disgusting. I wouldn’t envy the man who...

At the Beginning there was Incomplete information,then belief and then an abstract idea but if you reach Pure reasoning then you start to understand the dualities of life itself.The sunset,the sunrise;A star from approximately 93...

I would love to do more family comedy.

The first comedy screenplay that I wrote was Animal House and I always thought I could and should be a director but no one was about to give me that opportunity on Animal House.

I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That’s when you throw change on sluts.

I’m starved.” -Juli”How can you be starved? You just ate a huge bowl of popcorn.” -Elspeth”Popcorn isn’t food, it’s popcorn.” -Vicki

He had to die someday too. He might do it on sheets with a six-hundred-plus thread count, but he’d die just the same. Death wouldn’t forget about him.

I enjoy having fun with our history. You’ve got to have comedy, you’ve got to have drama and it all has to take place in a two and one-half hour period, with an intermission,

… Corellian curses being a synergistic blend of vulgarity, obscenity, and outright blasphemy that were the only things really worth saying when one was in the middle of being blown to monatomic dust.

I had no idea that marriage was only supposed to be between two people who wanted to get between the sheets and make more people. What ever happened to marrying for love— or to get...

I would like to explore comedy more. It’s not something that I’ve done a lot of. Obviously, I’m very at home in drama. I like everything.

Stay away from her.””Okay.””Keep your hands off her.””I’ll try.”He scowled at me.”I will,” I said.

Well, possibly,” I said, feeling my lips twitch again. “But maybe first you would tell us why you chose to manifest yourself in the form of Shirley Temple as last seen on the ‘Good Ship...

There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul’s apartment overlooks the park… and is obviously more expensive than mine.