Dolphins and sharks are natural enemies. Dolphins are like, “Quit eating us,” and sharks are like, “Stop smiling all the time, you morons.

Sure we could replace war with paintball battles. But it would escalate to paint grenades, paint bombs, weapons of mass paint. I don’t want to live in a world where my kids have to worry...

In geometry, whenever we had to find the area of a circle, pi * radius squared, I would get really hungry for pie. Square pie.

There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.

Never second guess yourself. Or do, maybe. Whatever you feel good about.