All thoughts, secret or spoken, belong in a coffee table book written in Braille, so you can really feel the emotions.

Pornography was not meant to be looked at. Pornography was meant to be read—on Braille-embossed condoms.

Note to self: don’t throw things at girls.

Before reaching Grassy Butte, though, Dad spied a farmhouse with two pumps in the drive and a red-and-white sign out front saying DALE’S OIL COMPANY. Another sign said CLOSED, but a light was on in...