Communism and Socialism are like most women’s in relationship. “What mine is mine and what yours is mine

Under Capitalism the most important thing is to squeeze out more and more money for a few people to spend. This means that most of the other people — as well as the earth and...

Europe has achieved peaceful political union for the first time ever: They’re using this unprecedented state of affairs to harmonize the curvature of bananas.

The way to a landowner’s heart was to tax gently.

The little boats cannot make much difference to the welfare of Gaza either way, since the materials being shipped are in such negligible quantity. The chief significance of the enterprise is therefore symbolic. And the...

But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He...

Theatres are curious places, magician’s trick-boxes where the golden memories of dramtic triumphs linger like nostalgic ghosts, and where the unexplainable, the fantastic, the tragic, the comic and the absurd are routine occurences on and...

Political action means taking on responsibility. This cannot happen without power. Power is to serve responsibility.

Unaweza kusaliti nchi kwa sababu za kiitikadi, kisiasa, matatizo ya akili, au pesa. Ukifanya hivyo na ukabainika; utawajibika kwa adhabu ya kifo, au maisha.

For nearly four years you have had an Administration which instead of twirling its thumbs has rolled up its sleeves. We will keep our sleeves rolled up. We had to struggle with the old enemies...

It seems to be difficult if not impossible for human beings to avoid thinking of government as mystical entity with a nature and a history all its own. It constitutes for them a creature somehow...

No one is more qualified than you are to decide how you live; no one should be able to vote on what you do with your time and your potential unless you invite them to.

He who suffers wins in politics. The martyr does not obtain the victory personally, but his group, his successors, win in the long run.

Wherever there is abuse there is also corruption. Politics, philosophy, theology, science, industry, any field with the potential to affect the well-being of others can be destroyed by abuse and saved by good will.

You can’t keep snakes in your backyard and expect them only to bite your neighbors. You know, eventually those snakes are going to turn on whoever has them in the backyard.

Those who treat with Norilendra Queen must be accomplished serpent handlers.

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

I always look like I’m lying. I was born with a politician’s face. You’ll know I’m in love when I have a Vote For Me look in my eyes.

Hardly anybody tells the truth these days. For the truth I have to go to Washington DC, and whatever a politician says, interpolate the opposite.

It may be 9:01 am, and I may have a 9-5 business, but if you are a politician, I’m closed. Come back at 5:01—and bring your own coffin.

If you look at how the federal government spends our money, it’s an insurance conglomerate protected by a large, standing army.

I was quite depressed two weeks ago when I spent an afternoon at Brentano’s Bookshop in New York and was looking at the kind of books most people read. Once you see that you lose...

In Paris and London he had seen nothing to make a return to life worth while; in Washington he saw plenty of reasons for staying dead.

Here one comes upon an all-important English trait: the respect for constituitionalism and legality, the belief in ‘the law’ as something above the state and above the individual, something which is cruel and stupid, of...

My hobbies include rubbing my nipples across a cheese grater, meeting cat ladies on Tinder, and voting for either Democrat or Republican every four years. You could say I am a torture enthusiast.

I want to have five or six wives, and a few dozen sheep, all for my pleasure. I should be a politician.

Citizens are starting not to excuse political candidates who have web sites that do nothing but throw virtual confetti.

There’s nothing special about politicians as people. Now as animals, they’d be extraordinary for their ability to be intelligent enough (barely) to be potty trained.

Business idea: Merge a billiard table with a golf course, and make the pockets as deep as a typical politician’s pants.

Don’t be alarmed by the flashing lights and the sirens you can’t see or hear. Just keep your blindfold on, your earplugs in, and keep driving way over the speed limit. You are in control...

I ordered an extra large handshake to go, but I had no idea it would be so greasy—or that it would leave a stain on my crotch. Ugh, politics!

A politician is a person who trades promises for power, and then trades the people’s trust for personal gain.

Bribery—it’s the way to get ahead. At least in politics.

The raindrops gathered on my windshield like prostitutes at a political convention, and I voted like I always vote—with my windshield wiper.

Bush violated FISA […] because he wanted to violate the law in order to establish the general ‘principle’ that he was not bound by the law, to show that he has the power to break...

The dangerous men were still asleep, their blades sheathed next to their beds. The really dangerous men had been up for hours, and their quills and ledgers were getting hard use.

What happens to people living in a society where everyone in power is lying, stealing, cheating and killing, and in our hearts we all know this, but the consequences of facing all these lies are...

Religion, too, is a weapon. What manner of weapon is religion when it becomes the government?

In a perfect world what poor countries at the lowest rungs of economic development need is not a multi-party democracy, but in fact a decisive benevolent dictator to push through the reforms required to get...

We must train our ‘future candidates’ on not only how to win elections but how to govern well.

In the old world, we tend to drift along, victims to our own ignorance of the fact, that we can have what we want in the New World.

Politics is merely war by other means.-an old Andorian saying

Wolves regularly attacked their rivals in power, so the idea of killing to gain position was neither alien nor repulsive to her. The use of assassins she had filed as yet another of the curious...

Renunciar a la libertad es renunciar a la condición de hombre.

The people who lead us are of us. We put them in office and we can take them out. America proves that the people can govern themselves.

When a man comes to your house with a bag full of money, he certainly has seen more in your backyard than in the bag.

Nous devions convaincre la communauté mondiale que la souveraineté devait désormais être considérée comme conditionnée à la responsabilité des États à assurer les droits de leur peuple – et donc être prise autant au sérieux que...

Being in the building with Sarah Palin that night is a transformative and oddly unsettling experience. It’s a little like having live cave-level access for the ripping-the-heart-out-with-the-bare-hands scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of...

If Jeb Bush gets elected, I’ll know that on my way back from overseas, I entered Biff Tannen’s parallel universe.

People bounce from voting Democrat to voting Republican, as both parties serve the interests of big business and big banking.