My cat’s name is Mr. Dog, and My penis’ name is Mr. Beaver. Ah, but that’s life, no?

Let’s start a new family.

It’s hard to type with gloves on. It’s also hard to type with just an erection. It’s basically like typing with one finger, and in my case, a pinky.

Your penis betrayed you, son. Made you think stupid. It won’t be the last time that happens.

I can hardly be expected to think like Santa. I get three times the letters, I poop burritos, and my penis is two reindeers more plentiful.

The reason the police buy water cannons is not only to control rowdy crowds, but also because my penis is not for sale. However, it is for rent, but not in the fight against freedom.

Unii ar zice ca Scorpionii sunt obsedati de sex. Dar nu penisul, ci inima mi-e organul cel mai neascultator: bate pentru altii.

If I had to describe my penis with a movie title, it would be: Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

If liquid courage smelled like cologne and gushed out of my penis, I’d make a better fire fighter than I’m not right now.

A fire truck is just a drivable penis. The flames of my love might engulf you, if you don’t let me park inside you.

Take off your damned wrapper! The old buffer ordered, looking intensely at her lower part. Comfort was on her knees, rubbing the old man’s dirty feet. All her plea and tears continually worsen the whole...

Comparing penis sizes is a much more nuanced and sophisticated way to determine who’s right than something as clunky and uncouth as a debate.

Music enters through the ear, not the penis hole. This is probably a common mistake most deaf men make.

V-as povesti despre penisul meu, dar ar fi o poveste lunga.

Yeah, tell your girl to twirl it on a fork before she puts it in her mouth.

I am that coward male who reminds myself each day that I am the man , takes my penis out and masturbate till i ejaculate the infused fears thinking her…And standing along with the crowds...

If my penis gets enough water, could my erection grow long and straight like a pine tree? Come over next Tuesday to find out! Bring a friend, but not a lumberjack.

The massive lump of flesh that has created you, me, and maybe, animals, everything that has life will forever live.

I didn’t need to be a writer to know that I could. Did you have to become a penis to act like a dick?

I’ll bring “The Hammer,” let’s have a Thorsome.

Because I feel as if I let it down. As if it needed something from me, I was its only hope, and now that hope is gone.”What penis doesn’t try to make you feel that...

I could name my penis Steve, and it would be appropriate, as it is sort of shaped like my dad’s face, whose name is Steve. Not just his face, but his whole body and person...

It’s a cliché to say that men think with their penises. But it’s a fact. And penises are notoriously stupid. My penis, for example, probably only has an IQ of 144, or about 12 times...

Viagra increases bloodflow to the penis, but what drug increases bloodflow to the brain?

Mother said, haven’t you seen older boys of your age, that you should take your rotten hands and play with my son’s penis? I held my mouth, and i really stiffled a giggle. Now i...