You’re about as delicate as an AK-47.

Writers cleave together like a demonic AA group – we are singularly able to dance with each other’s devils…

I am Midnight(cats stare dumbfounded)

There exist no new mistakes anywhere. The same mistakes people committed are the same mistakes people are committing and the same mistakes shall people commit

Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie’s hot temper is less than normal, says: “Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

Let me know if you’re in any pain, we’re going through your groin with a tiny tube up to your heart.” Doctor Casey said.”Really, that’s how my girlfriend does it. Only she doesn’t have to...

I mean, shit, what Latino family doesn’t think it’s cursed?

Locavore?” But before he could answer, I figured it out. “Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who eats crazy people?

I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

Wisdom of the Ages: “The Pope and Congress” It looks as if confidence in the American voter to exorcise the demons in the Capitol has completely fallen through.

Forgive my asking you to use your mind. It is a thing which no novelist should expect of his reader…

A cupcake temple?’ Her chest still tight with anxiety, Bertie forced herself to imagine it: bricks of pound cake mortared with buttercream and chocolate ganache, torches like striped birthday candles set into the walls, pilgrims...

That is my story. Believe what you will. I remember it all; I remember it still.

None are so busy as the fool and knave.

In her small voice, Persephone said, “I have nothing to add.” After a moment of consideration, she added, however, “If you are going to punch someone, don’t put your thumb inside your fist. It would...

I’ve watched goldfish make babies, and ants execute earwigs. I’ve seen a fly deliver live young while having its head eaten by a mantis. And I had a golden retriever behave like one.

Borman’s dumping urine. Urine [in] approximately one minute.” Two lines further along, we see Lovell saying, “What a sight to behold!

Forgive me….I called you an idiot. I spoke too hastily. You are not. Had I given it more thought, I would have called you a scoundrel.

Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!” Michael Keaton character in “Mr. Mom

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck.

Błogosławiony ten, co nie mając nic do powiedzenia, nie obleka tego faktu w słowa.

The mountain trembled like an earthquake. Dust flew into the sky. And the rock turned dark red, like the color of blood’. ‘How would you know?’ Asks Sindhi cap. ‘You only have a black and...

Mary Farquhar, who always flirts with her own husband across the dinner-table. That is not very pleasant. Indeed, it is not even decent . . . and that sort of thing is enormously on the...

If you have more cavities than you have teeth you’ve led a ‘Sweet’ life.

One of the things I love about labeling myself as an author is that I can read books and call it “researching writing styles.”–Mike Mankoff

Humor is something that thrives between man’s aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

If I want to dress up like Princess Leia and lightsaber fight the clone army in my living room, well the Han Solo in my life is just going to have to accept it.

I’ve never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn’t it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you’re here?

O Lord! he concluded, forgive all these trespasses. Lead me not into Penn Station.

To be depressed or neurotic is passive. It has happened to all of us; we are its victims, are we have no control over it.

I’m an Author, not a Grammarist!

I hope you’re all Republicans.

I’m not for gratuitous nudity, but if there’s humor, I don’t have a problem.

I should think this a gull, but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it; knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such reverence.

Raven: The Reverend Mr Larynx has been called off on duty, to marry or bury (I don’t know which) some unfortunate person or persons, at Claydyke:…

He’d never asked for an exciting life. What he really liked, what he sought on every occasion, was boredom. The trouble was that boredom tended to explode in your face. Just when he thought he’d...

The only goal in life is to be happy, genuinely, intensely and consistently , regardless of what it looks like to others.

MISUNDERSTANDING” arises only when you see the things with Closed Eyes

Well,’ said Mrs. Erdleigh, speaking kindly, as if to a child who has proposed a game inevitably associated with the breakage of china, ‘I know trouble will come of it if we do.

After giving it some thought, I’ve decided to name my monkey mind Ricky Bobby. I was thinking about Latin names like Javier, but I don’t want to make my jumping, distractable self sound mysterious and...

My toe as a lethal weapon!

Beauty lies in the LIES of the beholder!

Wees gerust, zij is helemaal echt en alles waard, het schilderij is een reproductie en geen fluit waard.

You’ll call me a damned Jew, a Christ murderer, a secret worshipper of pigs and a kidnapper of christian children.’ This was all said cheerfully. ‘How absurd! Who would want to kidnap children, Christian or...

A man who has shot lions in large quantities has an unfair advantage over other men.

I think about Mom and how she’d keep us entertained with her sense of humor during Dad’s deployments in Vietnam. Whatever came her way, she had a joyous spirit.

Unicorns aren’t magical and beautiful. They’re just predatory horses that have horns and love to eat virgins.

A massage is just like a movie, really relaxing and a total escape, except in a massage you’re the star. And you don’t miss anything by falling asleep!

Occupation: WriterOccupational Hazard: Carpel tunnelSolution: Wrist guards to bed or my hands do all the sleeping Perspective: I’ve decided my wrist guards have turned me into a Ninja Superhero that hides in the shadows

Just because you’re allowed to use magic now you don’t have to whip your wands out for every tiny little thing!