Don’t do anything stupid.”Don’t worry,’ I whispered over the line, ‘I’m an expert on stupid.”You’re…”Like, I can spot stupidity, because I know it so well. The way an exterminator knows bugs really well, and can...

The age thing really bugs me. Do people have more of a right to not like what I say because I’m 19?

I find myself thinking about this hue-mon all of the time. I wonder if it ever thought about us?Was there room in here for thoughts about beetles?Did it ever wonder how some glow?Or spray liquid...

I’ll stop eating steak when you stop killing spiders.” Absurdity: comparing cows to spiders. Arachnids are pure evil. They’re like a cigarette manufacturer or a terrorist. They’re organized religion on eight legs.

Simon stopped listening. He realised he’d had enough. Enough of the theories, enough of the mystery, enough of the bullshit. Enough of the soldiers and guns and MI5. Enough of bugs in phones and in...

He wasn’t Bugs without the gags we gave him.

The more light in your composition, the more generous you are. That is the first sign of a true light warrior. They give without waiting for you to ask. They give without expecting to be...

I’ve just been bitten on the neck by a vampire… mosquito. Does that mean that when the night comes I will rise and be annoying?