You have the effrontery to be squeamish, it thought at him. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape –...

Of all the forces in the universe, the hardest to overcome is the force of habit.

You could bounce rocks off her pride.

His age was indeterminate. But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon dating of the personality, he was about seven thousand years old.

Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It’s hope, turned inside out. You know it can’t go wrong, you’re sure it can’t go wrong…But it might.

There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.

Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It’s the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.

The horsemen came closer.Vimes was not good at horsemen. Something in him resented being addressed by anyone eight feet above the ground. He didn’t like the sensation of being looked at by nostrils.

The tincture of night began to diffuse the soup of the afternoon.Lord Vetinari considered the sentence, and found it good. He liked ‘tincture’ particularly. Tincture. Tincture. It was a distinguished word, and pleasantly countered by...

People look down on stuff like geography and meteorology, and not only because they’re standing on one and being soaked by the other.

Of course, to be fair, that was a parent’s job. The world was so full of sharp bends that if they didn’t put a few twists in you, you wouldn’t stand a chance of fitting...

It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. Not even the most stupid Creator would go to the trouble of making the...

Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu… was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it.

What’s so surprising about bacon? I dunno, I suppose it comes as something a a shock to the pig.

There’s a door.Where does it go?It stays where it is, I think.

Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

When in doubt, choose to live.

God does not play games with His loyal servants”, said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice.”Whoopee”, said Crowley.

If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting ‘All gods are bastards!

That’s what being alive is, Thing! It’s being badly prepared for everything! Because you only get one chance, Thing!

I know that I am a small, weak man, but I have amassed a large library; I dream of dangerous places.

You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree.”One of the giants grinned at him.Druellae snorted. “Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?

But, in truth, it had not exactly been gold, or even the promise of gold, but more like the fantasy of gold, the fairy dream that the gold is there, at the end of the...

what people said was what they wanted him to hear. He paid a lot of attention to the spaces outside the words, though. That’s where the things were that they hoped he didn’t know and...

And Dil was realizing that there are few things that so shake belief as seeing, clearly and precisely, the object of that belief. Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn’t believing. It’s where belief stops, because...

Sergeant Colon owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that Mrs. Colon worked all day and Sargent Colon worked all night. They communicated by means of notes. They had three grown-up children, all...

Jaime had never realised that trees made a sound when they grew, and no-one else had realised it either, because the sound is made over hundreds of years in waves of twenty-four hours from peak...

It’s not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing.

Well, Hell was worse, of course, by definition. But Crowley remembered what Heaven was like, and it had quite a few things in common with Hell. You couldn’t get a decent drink in either of...

If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty.

You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don’t you?

This book had two authors, and they were both the same person.

Existuje jistý druh vedoucích, kteří jsou známí svým “Moje dveře jsou vždycky otevřené” a bylo by pravděpodobně lepší utlouci se vlastním životopisem než pro ně pracovat.

The plain old Sam Vimes had fought back. He got rid of most of the plumes and the stupid tights, and ended up with a dress uniform that at least looked as though its owner...

A dwarf who can’t get the hang of metal? That must be pretty unique.””Pretty rare, sir. But I was quite good at alchemy..””Guild member?””Not any more, sir.””Oh? How did you leave the guild?””Through the roof,...

I AM ALWAYS ALONE. BUT JUST NOW I WANT TO BE ALONE BY MYSELF.

Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?

I could use you—if you pass the tests, of course. There are three of them. You have passed the first.””What are the other—” Hrun paused, his lips moved soundlessly and then he hazarded, “two?

Even the pious Scots, locked throughout history in a long-drawn-out battle with their arch-enemies the Scots, managed a few burnings to while away the long winter evenings.

Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o’course.

People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, “Oh. Sorry. I...

Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

That’s a nice song,’ said young Sam, and Vimes remembered that he was hearing it for the first time. It’s an old soldiers’ song,’ he said. Really, sarge? But it’s about angels.’ Yes, thought Vimes,...

The elevator shaft was a kind of heat sink. Hot food was cold by the time it arrived. Cold food got colder. No one knew what would happen to ice cream, but it would probably...

The trouble with being a god is that you’ve got no one to pray to.

It is a long-cherished tradition among a certain type of military thinker that huge casualties are the main thing. If they are on the other side then this is a valuable bonus.

He said to people: you’re free. And they said hooray, and then he showed them what freedom costs and they called him a tyrant and, as soon as he’d been betrayed, they milled around a...

And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn’t that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people....