The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty and bloody-mindedness.

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it.

An Assassin, a real Assassin, had to look like one – black clothes, hood, boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what could anyone do but spend all day in...

You can’t give her that!’ she screamed. ‘It’s not safe!’IT’S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY’RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.’She’s a child!’ shouted Crumley.IT’S EDUCATIONAL.’What if she cuts herself?’THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

You’re not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?””Only a man would think of that.It’s our job,” said Moist. “If you don’t think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will.

It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was...

Anyway, why would you trust anything written down? She certainly didn’t trust “Mothers of Borogravia!” and that was from the government. And if you couldn’t trust the government, who could you trust?Very nearly everyone, come...

He wasn’t sure he liked everything that was happening, but a lot of it was “cultural,” apparently, and you couldn’t object to that, so he didn’t. “Cultural” sort of solved problems by explaining that they...

Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.

“Surely you have considered terrorist activity?”There was another pause. Then the spokesman said, in the quiet tones of someone who has had enough and who is going to quit after this and raise chickens somewhere,...

The universe, they say, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty, and bloody-mindedness.

but only if you wave them about on the floor with a scrubbing brush.

Destiny was funny stuff, he knew. You couldn’t trust it. Often you couldn’t even see it. Just when you knew you had it cornered, it turned out to be something else—coincidence, maybe, or providence. You...

YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.”So we can believe the big ones?”YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

Once we were blobs in the sea, and then fishes, and then lizards and rats and then monkeys, and hundreds of things in between. This hand was once a fin, this hand once had claws!...

He said it was better to belong where you don’t belong than not to belong where you used to belong, remembering when you used to belong there.

I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins.

Ah, my dear sir, I can tell you nothing except that he is a left-handed stonemason who has spent some years in the merchant navy and has recently fallen on hard times,” and then unroll...

Always face what you fear. Have just enough money, never too much, and some string. Even if it’s not your fault, it’s your responsibility. Witches deal with things. Never stand between two mirrors. Never cackle....

I’m sure the Bursar would not agree with those figures,” said the Senior Wrangler sourly.”That is so,’ said Ponder, “but I’m afraid that is because he regards the decimal point as a nuisance.

Her books on alchemy were marvellous objects, every page a work of the engraver’s art, but they nowhere contained instructions like “Be sure to open a window”. They did have instructions like “Adde Aqua Quirmis...

The Librarian swung on. It was slow progress, because there were things he wasn’t keen on meeting. Creatures evolved to fill every niche in the environment, and some of those in the dusty immensity of...

I have to ask, sir…Why does it have to be done like this?”Vetinari smiled. “Can you keep a secret, Mister Lipwig?””Oh, yes, sir. I’ve kept lots.””Capital. And the point is, so can I. You do...

He only drinks when he gets depressed,’ said Carrot. ‘Why does he get depressed?’ ‘Sometimes it’s because he hasn’t had a drink.

I dinna want to disappoint ye, but we’s in a cellar right here, and it’s full o’ tatties.’After a while a voice said: ‘So where izzit?”Maybe it’s got the day off?”What’s a demon need a...

‘Luck is my middle name,’ said Rincewind, indistinctly. ‘Mind you, my first name is Bad.’

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN?The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato. SQUEAK, he said.Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I...

YOU’RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.That’s what being alive is all about.

[Science fiction is] out in the mainstream now. You can tell by the way mainstream literary authors pillage SF while denying they’re writing it!

And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it...

This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That’s why everything is exactly the wrong way around.

Big fat hairy monkey, hands a couple of octaves wide?

Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they would probably be...

To animals they were just the weather, just part of everything. But humans arose and gave them names, just as people filled the starry sky with heroes and monsters, because this turned them into stories....

Noble dragons don’t have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive.

Where’s the pleasure in bein’ the winner if the loser ain’t alive to know they’ve lost?

Who knew what evil lurked in the hearts of men? A copper, that’s who. (…)You saw how close men lived to the beast. You realized that people like Carcer were not mad. They were incredibily...

Even our fears make us feel important, because we fear we might not be.

There are the people of the day, and the creatures of the night. And it’s important to remember that the creatures of the night aren’t simply the people of the day staying up late because...

Little crimes breed big crimes. You smile at little crimes and then big crimes blow your head off.

People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be...

People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be able to answer, such as “Is this the laundry?” “How do you spell surreptitious?” and, on a regular...

The girls were expected to grow up to be somebody’s wife. They were also expected to read and write, those being considered soft indoor jobs that were too fiddly for the boys.

Legitimate First watched them go as they walked away. Sergeant Colon felt he was being measured up.”I’ve always wondered about his name,” said Nobby, turning and waving. “I mean…Legitimate?””Can’t blame a mother for being proud,...

Vimes awoke with a noseful of camel. There are far worse awakenings, but not as many as you might think.

The forest of Skund was indeed enchanted, which was nothing unusual on the Disc, and was also the only forest in the whole universe to be called — in the local language — Your Finger...

You know it’s going to be Mary the Maid, or someone like her, and there’s going to be two men and she will end up with the nice one, and there has to be misunderstandings,...

You’re free to wear whatever you want, you know that.””Yes, sir. And then I thought about Dee. And I watched the king when he was talking to you, and… well, I can wear what I...