The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room...

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,” he said. “Have you thought of going into teaching?

Juliet’s version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.

No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away…

He’s bound to have done something,” Nobby repeated.In this he was echoing the Patrician’s view of crime and punishment. If there was crime, there should be punishment. If the specific criminal should be involved in...

The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it’s not murder if you do it for a god).

A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest, Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.

But what we have here is not a nice girl, as generally understood. For one thing, she’s not beautiful. There’s a certain set to the jaw and arch to the nose that might, with a...

Polly felt questing eyes boring into her. She was embarrassed, of course. But not for the obvious reason. It was for the other one, the little lesson that life sometimes rams home with a stick:...

Just because something is a metaphor doesn’t mean it can’t be real.

Jeremy tried to be an interesting person. The trouble was that he was the kind of person who, having decided to be an interesting person, would first of all try to find a book called...

The hippo of recollection stirred in the muddy waters of the mind.

For a moment the rank felt as though they had just returned from single-handedly conquering a distant province. They felt, in fact, tremendously bucked-up, which was how Lady Ramkin would almost certainly have put it...

If Vorbis was right, and there was a kind of light that made darkness visible, then down there was its opposite, the darkness where no light could ever reach: darkness that blackened light, He thought...

I believe the term is ‘eminent domain.’Ah, yes. That means ‘theft by the government,

People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it’s the other way around.

You hardly know me and yet you invited me out on a date,’ said Miss Dearheart. ‘Why?’Because you called me a phoney, Moist thought. You saw through me straight away. Because you didn’t nail my...

The last thing she wanted was to see her friend getting ideas in her head. There was such a lot of room in there for them to bounce around and do damage.

Yes, she’d made a mistake… but she wasn’t going to be bullied. You couldn’t let boys go around raining on your lava and ogling other people’s watercolors.

Normalmente los magos definían ‘escuchar’ como un período durante el que decidías lo que dirías a continuación. Era desconcertante.

Click.The salamander flared, etching the room with searing white light and dark shadows. Otto screamed. He fell to the floor, clutching at his throat. He sprang to his feet, goggle-eyed and gasping, and staggered, knock-kneed...

The street was full of animals, milling around uncertainly. When animals are in a state of uncertainty they get nervous, and the street was already, as it were, paved with anxiety.

You can be any sex you like provided you act male. There’s no men and women in the Watch, just a bunch of lads.

Looking out the window, Moist saw a small swarm of goblins leave the train and at first he thought, ha! Trust the buggers to run away, and then he mentally corrected himself: that was storybook...

Down, boy! Couchant! I said couchant! No! Not rampant!

I’m a witch. It’s what we do. When it’s nobody else’s business, it’s my business.

Now the melting pot was full of lumps again.

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head

…inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.

But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror’s defeat.

It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life; not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing’ people’s...

One of the hardest lessons in young Sam’s life had been finding out that the people in charge weren’t in charge. It had been finding out that governments were not, on the whole, staffed by...

Things just happen, one after another. They don’t care who knows. But history… ah, history is different. History has to be observed. Otherwise it’s not history. It’s just… well, things happening one after another.

Fantasy – the ability to envisage the world in many different ways – is one of the skills that makes us human.

You’re weird.

Preston, I don’t think this creature could ever find its way into your head. Quite apart from anything else, it seems pretty crowded and complicated to me.

Real magic is the hand around the bandsaw, the thrown spark in the powder keg, the dimension-warp linking you straight into the heart of a star, the flaming sword that burns all the way down...

You haven’t really been anywhere until you’ve got back home.

But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.

After all, people seemed quite easy about having their rights and liberties taken away by those they looked up to, but somehow a space on the perch was a slap in the face, and treated...

I MAY HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF SOME FLICKER OF EMOTION IN THE RECENT PAST, said Death, BUT I CAN GIVE IT UP ANY TIME I LIKE.

A European says: I can’t understand this, what’s wrong with me? An American says: I can’t understand this, what’s wrong with him?I make no suggestion that one side or other is right, but observation over...

It’s not lying when you do it to officers!

It’s a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi’ a toad

I get depressed with these fluffy dragons and noble elves. Elves were never noble. They were cruel bastards. And I dislike heroes. You can’t trust the buggers. They always let you down. I don’t believe...

Two uniformed trolls were standing in front of Sergeant Colon’s high desk, with a slightly smaller troll between them. This troll was wearing a slightly downcast expression. It was also wearing a tutu and had...

Angua picked out the bottle and looked at the label.”C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s Genuine Authentic Soggy Mountain Dew,” she read. “He’s going to die! It says, ‘One hundred and fifty per cent proof’!””Nah, that’s just old Dibbler’s...

But we’re a university! We have to have a library!” said Ridcully. “It adds tone. What sort of people would we be if we didn’t go into the library?””Students,” said Senior Wrangler morosely.