Om rubed his head. This wasn’t god-like thinking. It seemed simpler when you were up here. It was all a game. You forgot that it wasn’t a game down there. People died. Bits got chopped...

We got the spell exactly right. Except for the ingredients. And most of the poetry. And it probably wasn’t the right time. And Gytha took most of it home for the cat, which couldn’t of...

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.Elves are terrific. They beget terror.The thing about words is...

The place looked as though it had been visited by Gengiz Cohen (footnote: hence the term “wholesale destruction”)

‘And what would humans be without love?’ Rare, said Death.

The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.

It’s like people care more about their pride than about what’s correct, about the truth.

BUT MOST PEOPLE ARE RATHER STUPID AND WASTE THEIR LIVES. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT? HAVE YOU NOT LOOKED DOWN FROM THE HORSE AT A CITY AND THOUGHT HOW MUCH IT RESEMBLED AN ANT HEAP,...

First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find...

She is standing just behind you. Just behind your right shoulder.”In the silence of the woods, Polly turned.”I can’t see her,” she said.”I am happy for you,” said Wazzer, handing her the empty mug.”But I...

As far as he could see, the drawings were simply alive. They might be colored earth on rock, but they were as alive as the kangaroo that’d just hopped away.

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too....

Humans need fantasy to be human.

NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT’S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU’RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR?Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich...

IT’S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather. “You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants?” YES. NOW THAT IS...

…Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mountains all her life in the certain knowledge that the darkness held nothing more terrible than she was…

Sometimes thinking is like talking to another person, but that person is also you.

Anger was a weapon to be honed and treasured and used only at the moment yielding most premium.

Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple.

but at least I’m ignorant about really important things.

One day I’ll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you’ll be in trouble.

She was not, herself, hugely in favor of motherhood in general. Obviously it was necessary, but it wasn’t exactly difficult. Even cats managed it. But women acted as if they’d been given a medal that...

(…) perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake to think that they weren’t also dangerous, just because reading them didn’t make fireworks go off in the sky....

Winder’s mind felt even fuzzier than it had done over the past few years, but he was certain about cake. He’d been eating cake, and now there wasn’t any. Through the mists he saw it,...

I thought dwarfs loved gold,” said Angua.”They just say that to get it into bed.

The Patrician of Ankh-Morpork sat back on his austere chair with the sudden bright smile of a very busy person at the end of a crowded day who’s suddenly found in his schedule a reminder...

The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is...

Granny looked up at the zombie. He was – or, technically, had been – a tall, handsome man. He still was, only now he looked like someone who had walked through a room full of...

Heroes get kingdoms and princesses, and they take regular exercise, and when they smile the light glints off their teeth, ting

Charity ain’t giving people what you wants to give, it’s giving people what they need to get.

There was always someone ready to cut the heir with a knife

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.

And, as always happens, and happens far too soon, the strange and wonderful becomes a memory and a memory becomes a dream. Tomorrow it’s gone.

People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people.

On the Disc, the Gods aren’t so much worshipped, as they are blamed.

Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground.

He enjoyed reading and writing. He liked words. Words didn’t shout or make loud noises, which pretty much defined the rest of his family. They didn’t involve getting muddy in the freezing cold. They didn’t...

To him, the pain was a bully, and what did you do to bullies? You stood up to them, because they always ran away in the end. But the pain didn’t know about that rule....

It’s lies. It’s all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that’s all. People see what they think is there.

Words have power, you understand? It is in the nature of our universe. Our library itself distorts time and space on quite a grand scale. Well, when the Post Office started accumulating letters, it was...

Goodness is about what you do. Not who you pray to.

Possession of the box conferred a kind of power on the wielder–which was that anyone, confronted with the hypnotic glass eye, would submissively obey the most peremptory orders about stance and expression.

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

The important thing about having lots of things to remember is that you’ve got to go somewhere afterwards where you can remember them, you see? You’ve got to stop. You haven’t really been anywhere until...

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman

Vimes took the view that life was so full of things happening erratically in all directions that the chances of any of them making some kind of relevant sense were remote in the extreme. Colon,...

. . . and what are you exactly, my friend? Their subordinate? Their employee? Or, I would suggest, their equal? That’s what young Karl would certainly have said, and probably still does. Unless he’s no...

A book has been taken. A book has been taken? You summoned the Watch,” Carrot drew himself up proudly, “because someone’s taken a book? You think that’s worse than murder?”The Librarian gave him the kind...

Los historiadores han observado que es en las épocas de abundancia cuando se siente el deseo de ir a la guerra. En tiempos de hambruna, la gente está demasiado ocupada intentando encontrar algo que comer....