Some people are so boring that you are more bored when you are with them … than when you are alone.

A first-rate story is easily killed by second-rate design.

Dear Whoever-that-just-found-out-that-they-have-a-terminal-illness, don’t let that put you down. Technically, we are all dying.

School forces unique individuals to think, act, and, look alike.

It is better to read one intellectually challenging book every 12 months … than to read 12 entertaining books every month.

There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.

private parts” private.

Dating a wo/man with a kid is the new adoption.

*Customer service* is seldom about the customer; it is usually about the seller’s chances of making more money from that customer in future.

*I’m hustling* is a low self-esteem having man’s way of saying *I’m unemployed,* when answering a seemingly materialistic woman’s question as to what he does for a living.

Most women think cheating is ‘disgusting’ … until they fall for a man that likes them back; but isn’t willing to leave his lover for them.

There is nothing wrong with being wrong.

Clothes are a homeless man’s home.

Some books sold because they are (said to be) great. Some are (said to be) great because they sold.

*Nothing is free* asserts two things. Both assertions are true.

Hypocrisy is when you get mad at a friend for telling their other friend a secret that your other friend told you.

A cowardly critique starts with a compliment.

The difference between a retiring man and a used condom is that the condom isn’t given a golden watch to inspire the illusion that it still matters to whomever that has just used it.

As useful as an unhappy artist. As useless as a happy philosopher.

Absolute freedom is an illusion. For while an employed man might be free from starvation, he is a slave to his employer’s financial aspirations, and, working-hours.

The most unfair thing about sex is that men are almost always guaranteed an orgasm.

Motivational speaking is the art of telling people what they have been told before … without them noticing.

One man’s panic funds another’s picnic.

A broke man’s lover doesn’t feel ‘loved’ on her Birthday, Christmas, and, on Valentine’s Day.

Employment was invented to make education seem useful.

To gain height, lose all your tall friends.

You are. Before you are whatever you are labeled.

Happiness is a temporary recurring human experience.

Peanut butter is a poor man’s marmalade.

To drive a woman away, tell her that you are unemployed. To bore her, tell her that you are single.

Between Monday and Saturday men make an audience. On Sunday, they make a congregation.

Some people are color-blind; some are intellectually-deaf.

It is foolish to teach a person a lesson by killing them. For they’d be too dead to learn anything.

Some of today’s slaves sleep on king size beds.

In the Bible, a woman was made from a man. In real life, a man is made from a woman.

Life isn’t really short. There are just too many good books to read in one lifetime.

Thou shalt not follow someone, merely because they are following you.

Prostitutes are paid for taking their clothes off. Celebrities are paid for putting others’ clothes on.

Reality is what people who lack vision see.

There really is no correlation between age and one’s bank balance. I’ve met wealthy boys and broke men.

A writer is merely a reader that had the guts to be read, and, heard.

When a man’s girlfriend’s parents ask him what it is that he does for a living: they’re not really concerned about him; they’re concerned about their daughter’s tummy.

To most Americans, a dog is a potential mate. To some Chinese, a dog is potential meat.

Growing up is childish.

You don’t tell a boy that he is a boy. You simply act like a man.

When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.

A moral judgment of abortion is the usage of a man-made ideology to judge a man-made technology.

What ‘primitive’ men called gossip, ‘civilized’ men call news.

Getting older comes with abilities. Being old comes with disabilities.

School is a factory where the raw material called student is turned into a product called employee.