A blanket could be used to store valuable information that will keep future generations warm overnight. And just so you know, it wasn’t me that farted in the blanket. That’s a bit too much information,...

A brick could be used to teach men how to dance, by learning balance. But a blanket could also teach men how to dance, by providing motivation to get good so they can get some...

A brick and a blanket aptly describe my former roommate. He was as dumb as a brick, and only highly functional on a bed. Or so I heard—not that I’d know from personal experience.

Mr. Pot drank ten pots of coffee, even though I only made eight. That’s a savings of 20%!

A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man.

A blanket could be used to fill in the blank.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

A brick could be used as a scapegoat. But don’t blame the brick. The brick didn’t kill my mother-in-law. It was merely the instrument I utilized in showing her how much I loved her.

A brick could be pet, like a dog, and taught to shit in my neighbor’s yard.

Every friend was once a stranger and if you know this, you have to understand that conversations are the beginning of connection

I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink.

I’d rather have nobody to say anything to, than have nothing to say to anybody.

A blanket isn’t the solution, a blanket is the problem. I say we burn all the blankets, along with the bodies of the unbelievers.

Sorry, we don’t serve rigid nonthinkers here.” So the brick and the pastor look at the politician, who turns around and leaves.

Love is a four-letter word. So is glue, only it isn’t as sticky. And I must admit, I still eat it all the time.

I think I have a strange relationship with time. I’m not really aware of that time passing. I don’t feel that I’m wasteful with time. But I’m not aware of it passing.

The surrealists, and the modern movement in painting as a whole, seemed to offer a key to the strange postwar world with its threat of nuclear war. The dislocations and ambiguities, in cubism and abstract...

I’ll write The Art Of Love, which will be tactical, like The Art Of War.

If you don’t learn how to drown, you won’t learn how to love.

My love smells like an empty mayonnaise jar. It ought to, because that’s where I store it. Coincidentally, my love also looks and tastes like mayonnaise.

A few years ago I dropped off the face of the earth. Then I came back the next day to pick it up. Unfortunately, it was stained red with love.

My love is a flower. If you’d call that romantic, I’d agree and say it would look great on your grave.

A blanket could be used to help frowners smile. I’m only halfway through the process myself, which is why I’m smirking.

A brick could be used as a blanket, and a blanket could be used as a brick, but not very well and not equally as well. Which is whicher depends on whose colder and who’s...

Watch very closely as the magical angel and I are swallowed by the rainbow twister, and left stranded on the glitter way.

I did go to Wellesley, a women’s college. And I am of a kind of strange generation which is transitional in terms of women who wanted to go out and get jobs.

Those who are not shocked when they first come across quantum theory cannot possibly have understood it.

I personally find ”super models” strange. I don’t know why this is.

But men are such strange creatures, really. I think most of them would rather we weren’t around at all, so they could just spend time mooning over each other. Hero worship and all that stuff.

The strangest experiences in life are apt to lose their effect if dwelt upon long enough. (“Furze Hollow”)

A brick could be used to disguise the fact that I’m blushing. Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed! Don’t look at the rose of my ears, look at the rouge of the construction cube.

A blanket could be used to tell people a thousand miles and a thousand years away hello. Greetings European people of 3013! I hope you still speak Europe and can understand not a word of...

A brick could be used to declare war on a country made of glass. I’ll bet those citizens would love to drink vodka dyed blue like window cleaner.

A brick could be used to replace a flat tire. After all, you want to replace like with like, and what’s more flat than a brick?

Bricks, bricks, and bricks could be used instead of gold, silver, and bronze medals in the Olympics. If all an athlete cares about is winning, then I’ll take the precious metal off the international communities’...

A blanket could be used to silence your internal critic. And if you don’t shut him up, I’ll do it for you. Geez, I’m trying to read over here, and I can’t focus with his...

Bricks could be used to replace stop signs. Some people won’t stop at stop signs, but everybody will stop for a brick wall.

I have a fist like a brick, but I don’t punch through walls—I build them and become them.

A karate black belt would make a great blindfold on a kidnap victim, after you karate chop them into submission.

A brick could be used to tell time. And just between you and me, I hope that brick tells time to go to hell.

A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, just measure you blushing cheeks against the rouge of a brick.

A brick could be thrown, like a football, only instead of a wide receiver, I’d recommend sending out a politician to catch your pass.

If my semen had chunks of crumbled brick in it, would you use yogurt to try to impregnate your fireplace?

You can build with brick, and you can also destroy with a brick.

My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time.

When the clock reads 3:00, I don’t call it three o’clock, I call it three hundred, and I remember the Spartans. At 3:01, however, I remember what I was doing at 2:59, and I get...

A blanket and a brick could be put in a ring and paid to fight. Compared to MMA, it would be boring. But compared to boxing, it would be downright thrilling.

A brick and a blanket represent two lovers who can never be together. I simply forbid it!

I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love.

A blanket could be used to cover up your infidelity. Either use the blanket to hide your cheating ways, or figure out how to fornicate with all your clothes on.