There’s nothing like an orgasm to make a person think–and more often than not, to think too much.

I’ve faked orgasms before, but this is the first time I’ve faked not having an orgasm.

I make love like 1981, one year before I was born. That explains why all your orgasms are nonexistent.

Intoxication, like sexual euphoria, is the privilege of the human animal.

I’m a romantic. I like cold coffee and orgasms that arrive fifteen minutes after I’ve put on my clothes and paid the lady.

Some guys assume that they made this one girl orgasm by doing this one thing and now they do it to every woman they get with. If it doesn’t work on you, then something about...

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s...

Telling a woman that you will be unable to climax unless you are looking at her in a mirror is, in my experience, an excellent way to ensure the only place you will ever see...

Friends are like orgasms: you can never have too many, but just try to watch out for the fake ones.

My bark has meow, and in bed I’m in the moment like instant coffee. Do you prefer cream or sugar in your orgasms?

Men lie to get laid, women lie about orgasms, and hermaphrodites lie to themselves.

Once I knew what I was doingI was there and with it;I had the total knowing.I Googled God and orgasmedAt the amount of Gods andMonsters out there posted about.

A woman’s orgasm is such a fragile thing, dependant as much upon her mind as on her clitoris.

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I’ll be first in line.

For the most expensive way to realize an orgasm, men open their wallets. For the cheapest, they close their eyes.