Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got some heat!

Lassen Sie es nicht zu gehen

If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday.I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the...

I must be very complex, judging by the number of days determined to define me.

As often as possible, I would hope,” he said, kissing me softly under the evening sky.

You saved Dad’s life. If anyone’s got the right to eavesdrop on him, it’s you.

The rest of you will take a number and have a seat.” Her paperwork skills might have been lousy, but her personal touch was something I aspired to.

Instead I sounded like a little girl on her first day of kindergarten. My name is Bee, and I like coloring and horsies.

MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?ME: MATH.

Remember every vote count’s and every two are worth a nickel

Do yourself a favor,’ I said. “Forget it. Forget you ever saw me.””Forget that you tried to kill me too?””Yeah. That, too.””But who are you?””Percy-” I started to say. Then the skeletons turned around. “Gotta...

[Razo] knocked, peered inside, then jumped and shut the door, quiet as brushing two feathers together. He smiled at his own stealth, then swaggered right into a chair, banging it against the wall.You oaf. He...

Sometimes you are the peanut to my butter and sometimes you are those annoying crumbs left over when someone makes toast.

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

Should I go get a crowbar?

Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.

After reading some of my stories, I once had a friend say to me, “I’d love to spend five minutes in your head to see what’s going on in there.” I warned them, “If you...

I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

You’re going to throw me naked into a pit and make me drench myself in baby lotion, aren’t you?” BrideYou live in New Orleans, where they can’t even dig a grave. So tell me where...

Entah kenapa, masa lalu selalu membuat gue tertawa setiap kali gue mengingatnya. (Catatan Mantan Playboy, halaman 137)

In the oven.

Don’t follow me on Instagram, it seems i already figured out your password.

If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried

Sorry, no professionals.

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I’ll be first in line.

Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit.

Whenever I come here, I pretend I’m living in the future and the atmosphere is irradiated and wild bands of biodiesel bikers rule the dusty surface.

I envy the man to snatch him up. This will be the only time in life I’m siding with Freud and experiencing ‘penis envy’. There will never be a repeat. Can’t be associated with too...

Creo que no me equivoco al pensar, querido mío, que naciste justo a mitad del invierno, ,no es así?-No-contestó Harry-.Nací en julio.

IN MY DEFENSE, I didn’t mean to start the Apocalypse. It wasn’t just my personal aversion to oblivion; I had a clear financial motive: The end of the world is bad for business.

Woman. Buckle

If he didn’t want to be mauled by a sex-starved woman who hadn’t gotten any skin in months, he’d better keep his hands to himself.

Life is like an atom bomb… It’s a blast… but it can be a bummer too!

why can’t you place a blessing like that on us,” I asked.”It only works on wild animals,” “So it would only affect Percy,” Annabeth reasoned.

I wasn’t exactly sure what “nothing good” meant, but I could imagine in this world of humans, “nothing good” could mean a lot of bad things.