There’s something that doesn’t make sense. Let’s go and poke it with a stick.

Rory: Amy. I’m gonna need a little help here.Amy: Just stop it!Rory: Just think it through, this will work. This will kill the Angels.Amy: it will kill you too.Rory: Will it? River said that this...

The Doctor: [aiming gun at the ceiling] Didn’t anyone ever tell you? There’s one thing you never put in a trap if you’re smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans...

Amy: I had something I wanted to tell him. Stuff always gets in the way.Canton: Stuff does that.

The point I’m trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all-around obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware...

Never run when you’re scared. Rule 7.

We all change, when you think about it. We’re all different people all through our lives. And that’s OK, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you...

Bow ties are cool.

Amy: Up.Rory: What good’s up?Amy: Better than down. -Doctor Who

[The Doctor, Capt. Jack and Rose are cornered by the empty children.]The Doctor: Go to your room! Go to your room! I mean it. I’m very, very angry with you. I’m very, very cross! GO!...

I’d forgotten not all victories are about saving the universe.

The Doctor: Amazing. Nancy: What is? The Doctor: 1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can...

See the bowtie? I wear it and I don’t care. That’s why it’s cool.

Who takes the Pandorica takes the Universe. But bad news everyone. ‘Cause guess who! Hah! Listen, you lot, you’re all whizzing about. It’s really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because...

The Doctor: Don’t blink. Don’t even blink. Blink and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. And don’t blink.

You have to take your own bold approach, and if you do you will be rewarded with success. Or calamitous failure. That can happen too.

Geronimo!

Young Reinette: Monsieur, be careful!The Doctor: It’s just a nightmare, Reinette, don’t worry, everyone has nightmares. Even monsters under the bed have nightmares!Young Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about?The Doctor: Me!

Well we’ve moved through the funfair a bit – we’ve done the rollercoaster, now we’re on the ghost train.

Amy: I never knew you drank wine.Doctor: I’m 1103 I must have drunk it sometime in my life.*takes sip and spits it out in disgust*

Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you’re busy, in which case, always ignore a coincidence.

Amy Pond: ‘I thought… well, I started to think you were just a madman with a box.’The Doctor: ‘Amy Pond, there’s something you better understand about me, ’cause it’s important and one day your life...

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint – it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff.

Rose: Look at you, beaming away like you’re Father Christmas!The Doctor: Who says I’m not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve?Rose: [shocked] What?The Doctor: And everybody lives, Rose! Everybody lives! I need more days like this! Go on, ask me...

Don’t play games with me! You just killed someone I like, that is not a safe place to stand! I’m the Doctor, and you’re in the biggest library in the Universe. Look me up.

Madge: I don’t know why I keep shouting at them.The Doctor: Because every time you see them happy you remember how sad they’re going to be. And it breaks your heart. Because what’s the point...

It’s a funny thing about stories. It doesn’t feel like you make them up, more like you find them. You type and type and you know you haven’t got it yet, because somewhere out there,...

Creatures from another world, only statues when you see them. Lonely Assassins, that’s what they used to be called. No one quite knows where they came from, but they’re as old as the Universe, or...

The Doctor: Doctor Song, you’ve got that face on again.River: What face?The Doctor: The “He’s hot when he’s clever” face.River: This is my normal face.The Doctor: Yes it is.River: Oh, shut up.The Doctor: Not a...

This was supposed to be yesterday. I was sitting on the Cardiff/London train, supposedly about to write this very column, and realising something quite terrible. My head was entirely empty. A vast echoing void. Bigger...

Angel Bob: Doctor? Excuse me, hello, Doctor? Angel Bob here, sir. The Doctor: Ah, there you are, Angel Bob. How’s life? Sorry, bad subject. Angel Bob: The Angels are wondering what you hope to achieve....

I don’t know. I can’t tell the future I just work there.

I think that’s the way people absorb television. All the explanations in Doctor Who are there if that’s your bag, but they’re not essential to your enjoyment of it. An awful lot of storytelling isn’t...

River Song: Right then. I have questions, but number one is this – what in the name of sanity have you got on your head? The Doctor: It’s a fez. I wear a fez now....

Hello, old friend. And here we are. You and me, on the last page. By the time you read these words, Rory and I will be long gone. So know that we lived well and...

The Doctor: ‘You know when grown-ups tell you everything’s going to be fine, but you really think they’re lying to make you feel better?’ Amelia: ‘Yeah…’The Doctor: ‘Everything’s going to be fine.

When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it’ll never end. But however hard you try you can’t run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I...

I’ll be a story in your head. That’s okay. We’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? ‘Cause it was, you know. It was the best. The daft old man...

Kathy Nightingale: What’s good about sad? Sally Sparrow: It’s happy for deep people.

We’re all stories, in the end.

Don’t blink

You want weapons? We’re in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!

The universe is big, its vast and complicated, and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. And that’s the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but...

You should always waste time when you don’t have any. Time is not the boss of you. Rule 408.

The Doctor: Dr. Song, you’ve got that face on again.River: What face?The Doctor: The ‘he’s hot when he’s clever’ face.River: This is my normal face.The Doctor: Yes, it is.

Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.The Doctor: Good men don’t need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have...

The Doctor: Amy, what are you doing?Amy: That gravestone, Rory’s, there’s room for one more name isn’t there?The Doctor: What are you talking about? Back away from the Angel. Come back to the TARDIS, we’ll...

Come on, Rory! It isn’t rocket science, it’s just quantum physics!-The Doctor (Matt Smith)

The universe is big. It’s vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes—very rarely—impossible things just happen and we call them miracles.

Rule 1: The Doctor lies.