Have you ever seen her dressed up as a ninja? That would have been my first clue.”The girl sucked in her cheeks so she wouldn’t laugh out loud.

We’re not retreating, we’re advancing in reverse.’ –Skulduggery Pleasant

It all depends on what people you’re talking about helping. That’s the wonderful think about just about every religion on the planet – they’re all so incredibly selfish.

Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.

Please don’t arrest me.””Listen to me, I’m not going to arrest you, ok? I’m not a cop.””Are you sure?””Am I sure I’m not a cop? yes, I’m sure.””You could be undercover.

You’re under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Doors are for people with no imagination.

Wow,” she said. “It’s like you’re teaching me something and being all wise.””You are not easy to get along with,” Skulduggery said.

What are you doing?””I’m, uh, acting normal.””No you’re not. You’re acting like someone pretending to be normal. Stop pretending and start acting, but don’t act like you’re not pretending, that’ll make it worse.

I should go in alone,” Valkyrie said, speaking loudly to be heard. “If we both go in, it’ll look to official.””So I’ll just stay out here?” Skulduggery asked. “But what’ll I do? There’s no one...

Every solution to every problem is simple. It’s the distance between the two where the mystery lies.

Right, well, we’ve got to work out what we need. We’ve got to work out what we need, how we get it, and what we need to get to get what we need.

He has a name.””Oh yeah. Skulduggery isn’t it?” Fletcher responded. “That’s an unusual one. Tell me were you born a skeleton or were your folks just disturbingly hopeful?

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,” Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. “They’ve obviously never met me.

That was a good day for me,” Skulduggery said. “I didn’t have to hit anyone. I didn’t have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain.

I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.

I have chiseled features. Look. Look how chiseled they are. And my teeth are at least as white as his. You seriously think he’s good-lookin’?””I do,” said Tanith.”Right,” Sanguine said and nodded. “I’m gonna kill...

Still, he figured, sometimes you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, and then sometimes you’ve just got to run like hell after it’s done.

What is a life?” Scapegrace continued. “Is life merely living? Is it having a heartbeat? Or is life the effect you have on others? Is it the effect you have on the world around you?...

Well, OK then.” He narrowed his eyes. “How about you? Do you have any…romances I should know about?””Nope. Not one.””Well, good. Excellent. There’ll be plenty of time for boys when you leave college and become...

I’ve always been a monster,’ Scapegrace told her, ‘but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.”You smell terrible.”That’s the smell of evil.”It’s like rancid meat and bad eggs.”Evil,” Scapegrace insisted.

Valkyrie walked to the back door, which hadn’t been closed properly, shut it and locked it. There was now a baby in the house, after all. She couldn’t take the chance that a wild animal...

The only thing we know for certain is that Darquesse is coming, and she’s coming to kill us all.

Yes, I thinkwe’ll be waiting long.

It’s a very small object to be capable of doing many wonderful things, don’t you think?””It does much more that that,” Valkyrie said, opening up a game and showing it to him.His eyes widened. “What...

Stairs,” Valkyrie said, disappointed.”Not just ordinary stairs,” Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. “Magic stairs.””Really?””Oh, yes.”She followed him into the darkness. “How are they magic?””They just are.””In what way?””In a magicky way.”She...

I cannot have chaos erupting around me until I am prepared for it. I am a collector. I am an observer. I don’t participate. My resources, and my standing, must be secure before I can...

Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? ‘Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

I can’t tell you how may beautiful women have broken up with me because they were bored. I can’t tell you because it never happened. They all adored me.” “It was your humility, wasn’t it?