I’ll wear a fork on my head, and if anybody wants a job, they can eat salad off my scalp.

I don’t like salad dressing. I prefer salad undressing. I’m a health freak. And I do mean freak.

Of course, if I had misbehaved that day, my dinner was a salad made entirely out of iceberg lettuce, with water on top instead of dressing. It was like cabbage soup without the dignity.

For me to enjoy a salad, I need the right dressing. Vodka is salad dressing, right?

My boxers have salad dressing stains on them, and my dishwasher is broken. I’ll make dinner for you, if you clean up afterwards.

Will you dance for me? Let your breasts roam for a moment — I need to see how they dance.”Okay.’ She danced, and as she danced, she tried to think of the most delicious salads...

The addition of nuts in salad… I always find to be beneficial.

I’m anti-cheese in a salad.

Eating a salad (in public) is an overweight person’s attempt to appear in control.

I am Fried Quiero Loud Babcock (not bad cock), and I am here for the ranch dressing your father promised my father, 53 years ago. Kindly pour some on my salad and I’ll be on...