I learned the first night that IHOP’s not the place to order fish.
There’s nothing that reflects me. I’m unreflectable!
If you tell the truth about how you’re feeling, it becomes funny.
Whenever something good happens to me, it’s usually followed by something terrible.
I don’t like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
I just wanted laughs – that’s really what I was after.
Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m Jewish.
I’m a walking, talking enigma. We’re a dying breed.
It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.