The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.

I wouldn’t want the guests at my birthday party confusing my celebration with the Oscars. That’s why I’m having the awards ceremony after we eat cake and I open my presents.

With gift giving, if it’s the thought that counts, then a picture of a Mercedes is just as good as an actual Mercedes. With my new camera, I can’t wait to show you how much...

It’s the giving that makes one stronger, but sometimes the taking can make one weaker, if even vulnerable or blinding.

When you give everything and expect nothing in return, only then will you be in a position to gain anything. When you love loving, you give because giving is getting. Giving is a gift unto...

Sleep did not honor me with it’s presence.

Christmas used to be a good “idea” ’til somebody came up with the concept of giving wrapped up presents to each other… 🙂

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

I got my dad a great father’s Day present. He called to say: ‘Ach. Zis present is so good I now think it vas almost vorth having children.

I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.

A broke man’s lover doesn’t feel ‘loved’ on her Birthday, Christmas, and, on Valentine’s Day.

The best present is wrapped in fur. And when you shake the package, it meows. Give the gift of love, before it runs away and gets run over.

When confronted with a birthday in a week I will remember that a book can be a really good present, too.

I count as blessings things I could have benefited from, even if I neglected to utilize them. A gift is still a gift, even if left wrapped and unopened.

Silver nitrate and water in a super soaker,” he told her. “My own invention. Ought to be good at twenty feet, kind of like wasp spray.”Oh. “You get me the nicest things.””Anybody can get jewelry....

I’d like to have the chance to decide what my life will be like, I think that’s the best present anyone can get. The chance to decide what your life will be like.

I think the Huffington Post has been inventive and presents what it aggregates well.