The US head of state grew up on food stamps. The British head of state grew up on the postage stamps.

Your working assumption, when you meet a homophobe, should be that they are gay.

I’m so patriotic, I think every British kid should have a chance to grow up to be our head of state.

I respect you as a person too much to respect your ridiculous beliefs.

I got my dad a great father’s Day present. He called to say: ‘Ach. Zis present is so good I now think it vas almost vorth having children.