Government was founded on the working premiss of being primarily an asylum for ineptitude and indigence.

Come senators, congressmenPlease heed the callDon’t stand in the doorwayDon’t block up the hallFor he that gets hurtWill be he who has stalledThere’s a battle outside ragin’.It’ll soon shake your windowsAnd rattle your wallsFor the...

Your right of religious freedom ends where my right of religious abstinence begins…

Satan has certainly been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years.

That missleproof glass might as well have been electrified fence and barbed wire. No one could fashion a prison so perfect, so complete, as the one the masters of humanity had created for themselves.

Everyone spends money freely that is freely given.

A regime that can suspend or abrogate the constitution and run the country on its whims and caprice should be ashamed of bringing on its lips the word “law”. It is like prescribing a punishment...

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels & free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep & conformists.

I’ve never been able to understand why a Republican contributor is a ‘fat cat’ and a Democratic contributor of the same amount of money is a ‘public-spirited philanthropist’.

New Rule: Since Glenn Beck is clearly onto us, liberals must launch our plan for socialist domination immediately. Listen closely, comrades, I’ve received word from General Soros and our partners in the UN–Operation Streisand is...

Watching middle-class conservatives vote for politicians who’ve proudly pledged to screw them and their children over fills me with the same exasperated contempt I feel for rabbits who zigzag wildly back and forth in front...

I have witnessed how the power of listening, storytelling and embracing gray areas breaks through the rigid ‘us vs. them.

I suppose if we gain anything from this unsought experience it will be an appreciation for honesty- frankness on the part of our politicians, our friends, our loves, ourselves. No more liars in public places....

If you’re going to play the game properly you’d better know every rule.

Trust is the fundamental key that upholds the honor of great leadership, without it leadership becomes a status quo of great dis-service to the change your followers desire.

The NHS will last as long as there are folk left with faith to fight for it

But are his needs any more shocking than the needs of any other animals and men? Are his deeds more outrageous than the deeds of the parent who drained the spirit from his child? The...

In a democracy the poor will have more power than the rich, because there are more of them, and the will of the majority is supreme. &It is also in the interests of a tyrant...

They knew that to put God in the constitution was to put man out. They knew that the recognition of a Deity would be seized upon by fanatics and zealots as a pretext for destroying...

Communism and Socialism are like most women’s in relationship. “What mine is mine and what yours is mine

Under Capitalism the most important thing is to squeeze out more and more money for a few people to spend. This means that most of the other people — as well as the earth and...

Europe has achieved peaceful political union for the first time ever: They’re using this unprecedented state of affairs to harmonize the curvature of bananas.

The way to a landowner’s heart was to tax gently.

The little boats cannot make much difference to the welfare of Gaza either way, since the materials being shipped are in such negligible quantity. The chief significance of the enterprise is therefore symbolic. And the...

But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He...

Theatres are curious places, magician’s trick-boxes where the golden memories of dramtic triumphs linger like nostalgic ghosts, and where the unexplainable, the fantastic, the tragic, the comic and the absurd are routine occurences on and...

Political action means taking on responsibility. This cannot happen without power. Power is to serve responsibility.

Unaweza kusaliti nchi kwa sababu za kiitikadi, kisiasa, matatizo ya akili, au pesa. Ukifanya hivyo na ukabainika; utawajibika kwa adhabu ya kifo, au maisha.

For nearly four years you have had an Administration which instead of twirling its thumbs has rolled up its sleeves. We will keep our sleeves rolled up. We had to struggle with the old enemies...

It seems to be difficult if not impossible for human beings to avoid thinking of government as mystical entity with a nature and a history all its own. It constitutes for them a creature somehow...

No one is more qualified than you are to decide how you live; no one should be able to vote on what you do with your time and your potential unless you invite them to.

He who suffers wins in politics. The martyr does not obtain the victory personally, but his group, his successors, win in the long run.

Wherever there is abuse there is also corruption. Politics, philosophy, theology, science, industry, any field with the potential to affect the well-being of others can be destroyed by abuse and saved by good will.

You can’t keep snakes in your backyard and expect them only to bite your neighbors. You know, eventually those snakes are going to turn on whoever has them in the backyard.

Those who treat with Norilendra Queen must be accomplished serpent handlers.

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

I always look like I’m lying. I was born with a politician’s face. You’ll know I’m in love when I have a Vote For Me look in my eyes.

Hardly anybody tells the truth these days. For the truth I have to go to Washington DC, and whatever a politician says, interpolate the opposite.

It may be 9:01 am, and I may have a 9-5 business, but if you are a politician, I’m closed. Come back at 5:01—and bring your own coffin.

If you look at how the federal government spends our money, it’s an insurance conglomerate protected by a large, standing army.

I was quite depressed two weeks ago when I spent an afternoon at Brentano’s Bookshop in New York and was looking at the kind of books most people read. Once you see that you lose...

In Paris and London he had seen nothing to make a return to life worth while; in Washington he saw plenty of reasons for staying dead.

Here one comes upon an all-important English trait: the respect for constituitionalism and legality, the belief in ‘the law’ as something above the state and above the individual, something which is cruel and stupid, of...

My hobbies include rubbing my nipples across a cheese grater, meeting cat ladies on Tinder, and voting for either Democrat or Republican every four years. You could say I am a torture enthusiast.

I want to have five or six wives, and a few dozen sheep, all for my pleasure. I should be a politician.

Citizens are starting not to excuse political candidates who have web sites that do nothing but throw virtual confetti.

There’s nothing special about politicians as people. Now as animals, they’d be extraordinary for their ability to be intelligent enough (barely) to be potty trained.

Business idea: Merge a billiard table with a golf course, and make the pockets as deep as a typical politician’s pants.

Don’t be alarmed by the flashing lights and the sirens you can’t see or hear. Just keep your blindfold on, your earplugs in, and keep driving way over the speed limit. You are in control...

I ordered an extra large handshake to go, but I had no idea it would be so greasy—or that it would leave a stain on my crotch. Ugh, politics!