I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those...

A bartender is a Keeper of Secrets. Drunk, senseless, useless secrets.

You meet a new guy, analyze him, not good for marriage, not good for a relationship, not good for fucking, maybe excepting the very drunk mood, so, conclusion: this is the beginning of a beautiful...

I loved the full heat of being drunk, like I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all directions.

‘There’s no time for right or wrong,’ I said.

During our time together in this place Holly didn’t outright avoid me or treat me rudely. But she wasn’t—how do women like to put it? She wasn’t emotionally available to me.

Mr Cobb was my escort. Such a nice escort, Mr Cobb. So attentive. You should see him sober. I should see him sober. Somebody should see him sober. I mean, just for the record. So...

He was so drunk that he would have stubbornly denied that he was.

The story goes that I first had the idea for THHGTTGalaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck

Being crazy, for the rest of us, is a form of sanity.

Everybody’s drunk. Ben drunk. Lacey drunk. Radar drunk. Nobody drive. Home by six. Promised Mom. Boo, Sleepy Quentin! Yay, Designated Driver! YESSSS!

My voice falls into Southern drawl when I am tired, drunk, or in trouble. Too often, my accent is attacked by all three of these realities.

I felt a lunatic’s laugh welling up inside me.

And when he got home he started on Mumma. He hated her then, because in her fatness and untidiness and drabness she reminded him of what he himself was when he was sober.

You’re walking down Fool’s Street, Laura used to say when he was drinking, and she had been right. He had known even then that she was right, but knowing had made no difference; he had...

There were, however, a few exceptions.One was Norma Dodsworth, the poet, who had not unpleasantly drunk but had been sensible enough to pass out before any violent action proved necessary. He had been deposited, not...

My mind may be sober, but my confidence is high!

Once the orange juice wears off, I might be drunk. I love vodka.

I am alive, and drunk on sunlight.

It’s solitary drinking that makes drunkards.

Are you mad? Or have you been skulking around the bars of Barbary XIII?

Dude, don’t die out here.

All You Need Is Love” in homage to their memory.

Oh you dear companionsElectric bells of the stations song of the reapersButcher’s sleigh regiment of unnumbered streetsCavalry of bridges nights livid with alcoholThe cities I’ve seen lived like mad women(The Voyager)

I don’t drink to make others look better, I just drink to make myself feel prettier.

Needy people are like newborns, I have come to realize. One intoxicated night and BAM! You are stuck with this problem. You finally take it home and it wants to keep you up all night...

Alcohol helps you to loosen up to make memories you won’t forget, and then it helps you to forget them completely.

Oh Abby…I want you to know…I am so full of shit. You should not listen to me. I know nothing.

High school sucked. It was a universal truth and whoever said these were supposed to be the best years of your life was probably drunk or delusional.

She smiled at him like a freshman invited to the senior prom. It made my blood boil.

It’s not about winning, it’s about doing what’s right. And yes, we will do what’s right.

Danny strolled to the town common, sat on one of the benches in Teenytown and took one of the bottles out of the bag, looking down on it like Hamlet with Yorick’s skull

I got drunk when I was five. Everybody gets drunk before they’re 21.

What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?””Ask a glass of water!

Let me ask you this: How many days do you have left, if any, in the life you promised for yourself yesterday?

Drunk forever dreaming you with or without you

Old, old, drink. Tiiiiny little drink. Very small. Almost not there.” She began to hiccup.

I like to think she hates my guts a little less every hour.

Yolo.

I’ve never drunk coffee. I’m convinced it has something to do with why my skin is good. I have either mint, green or black tea.

H. L Mencken’s Dictionary of the American Language supplies a long list of slang terms for being drunk, but the Irish are no slouches, either. They’re spannered, rat-arsed, cabbaged, and hammered; ruined, legless, scorched, and...

People keep asking what I do for a living and I keep saying that I don’t believe in making a living. That it’s a concept that has been twisted. I tell them I believe in...

I left Mermaid’s Bar and Grill about 2:00 am, and fishtailed out of the parking lot.

I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance.

There is something about you that makes me feel terribly wicked. You make me want to do shocking things. Maybe it’s because you’re so proper. Your necktie is never crooked, and your shoes are always...

98% of the things said by a drunk man are true; 98% of those said by a horny man aren’t.

I don’t know how these things died without benefit of a bullet to the brain pan. They seemed to exist in an eternal twilight of longing.

He was your usual man when it came to romance, which is to say he couldn’t recite Baa Baa Black Sheep when sober, whereas when drunk, sixteen cantos of Byron’s Don Juan was par for...

We all look for happiness, but without knowing where to find it: like drunkards who look for their house, knowing dimly that they have one

Inside my soul a treasure is buried.The key is mine and only mine.How right you are, you drunken monster!I know: the truth is in the wine.(“The Unknown Lady”)