Let’s say that it belong to me as much as it belongs to anyone alive today. If I am, strictly speaking, living. The old word was undead, you know, but aren’t all living things undead....

Claire stretched out against the wall and kissed it. “Glad to see you, too,” she whispered, and pressed her cheek against the smooth surface. It almost felt like it hugged her back.”Dude, it’s a house,”...

Now play nicely, make-believe dead girl

Shane: “Score,” he said, and raised the crowbar in triumph. “Who’s your daddy?”- Black Dawn

Could you maybe not admire the evil enemy quite as much, and focus on how we’re going to get out of this?

You’ve grown up being special, and this is how most people live their lives…alone. On their own. Undecided. And they get used to that feeling. It’s just new for you.

Stop being so…””Charming?Attractive?Irresistible?”I’m going with arrogant.

Crap, are you thinking what I’m thinking?””I’m thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood,” Claire said. “Is that it?””No, I was thinking we’re out of chips. Of course that’s what I was thinking.

Hey, Dark Princess? Here’s your crap. Also, bite me.

Now we’re in the middle of a three-sided vampire war. Which would be an awesome video game, but I’m really not interested in playing for real. I like my reset buttons.

Welcome to Morganville.You’ll never want to leave.And even if you do…well, you can’t. Sorry about that.

I’m your worst damn nightmare, Skeletor. I’m a vampire killer with fangs and a grudge.

Okay, this was kissing. Serious kissing. Not just a kiss before moving out, not a good-bye, this was Hello, sexy, and wow, she’d never even suspected that it could feel this way.

What was your name again?””Still Eve.””No, I’m sure it’s something else. That doesn’t seem right.

One hot yellow Hummer with optional mass destruction package, coming up.

Well…I would make an awesome mayor. I’m very photogenic.

I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more often.

You stole my paranoia,” she said. “I was going to say, ‘Don’t go.’ But you’re going to no matter what I say, aren’t you?

You okay?””Fine.””Your heart’s beating really fast.””Gee, thanks. That’s very comforting that you can hear it.”He smiled, and it was the old Michael, the one she’d first met before all the vamp stuff.”Yeah, I know it...

You’re the future, Claire.

I’m so glad you’re okay.””So, how do we celebrate my okayness? It’s my day off. Let’s go crazy. Glow-in-the-dark bowling?””No””I’ll let you use the kiddie ball.””Shut up. I do NOT need the kiddie ball.””The way...

Doorman: Good morning Mr. PeaknisMr. P.: Go to hell

I’ll do it!””No, you won’t,” Shane and Michael said, at virtually the same time. Shane continued. “You’re barely on your feet, Claire. You don’t go anywhere, not without me.””And me,” Michael said.”Hell,” Eve sighed. “I...

Now could you please ask these idiots to stop pointing their bullets at me? It’s terribly wasteful.

You looked like the sexiest woman in the world.””Well, in fairness, I am the sexiest woman in the world.””And you’re always right.””You are so brilliant to recognize that.

I guess in my beer-soaked mind it would all just magically work out, and she’d be so happy to see me she’d forget about everything else. Because everybody loves having the drunken self-pitying boyfriend banging...

It’s bad enough I have to be trapped in a car with you children. You’ll do your best not to act like children.

Fire is always ready to burn the hand it warms.

See?” she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. “She doesn’t stomp around like a cattle stampede!””Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!

At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, strong menfolk hold off the bad guys. Right?

Do be careful. I can’t replace you as easily as all that.

So, been attacked by any vampires yet?””Not one.””Zombies? Giant spiders? Water monsters?”It’s been really quiet on the supernatural front””Too bad, ’cause I got attacked by a devil dog. It was not awesome.

Better be,” Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. “I could totally date somebody else, you know.””And I could rent out your room.””And I could put your game console on eBay.””Hey,” Shane protested. “Now you’re...

Unfortunately, my army consists of one unreliable criminal, one girl with adisability, and one incredibly foolish young vampire with a tanning issue. I am not confident.

When things seem calmest, that is the time you should fear the most, it’s when you have the most to lose.

You’ve been the least useless apprentice I’ve ever had.

Damn, there goes my chance for some hot sexy talk.

We’re clear,” she said. “You’re kind of a psycho. I get that

That’s brain tissue. How can you-?” Claire shut her mouth, fast. “Never mind. I don’t think I wanna know.””Truly, I think that’s best. Please take it.” He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling...

I wonder, sometimes, if your generation speaks English at all,” Amelie said.

This won’t stop her from getting elected…Stupider people get elected all the time. It’s America. We love the sleazy. And the crazy.

You know what we call pedestrians in Morganville? Mobile bloodbanks.

Your personal dignity was always more important to you than mere emotion, wasn’t it?

Hannah leaned against the wall. ‘Mind if I call shotgun?”Since you’re carrying one? Feel free.

You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!” he called as she ran down the hall.”Love you, too, jackass!

What, because I said she had a sweet little butt? You don’t think she does? Hard to believe, since you spend so much time staring at it.

Don’t bait the cougars.

Funny how physics didn’t go away when you were murdered.

I can’t simply adopt strays because they seem winsome.

What could go wrong?”Michael’s eyes flashed to meet hers in the rearview mirror.Besides everything, I mean,” she said.