Scoot over, man. I don’t like you that much.” “Dick. That’s not what you said last night.””Bite me.

„I won’t lie, it was awful, but what was worse was slowly realizing how bad I’d been. How close I’d been to becoming . . . a thing. A senseless monster.

Girl, we need to get you on a study program, fast. You’re not going to last a week around here if you can’t keep up with the pop culture references. How about Lord of the...

There were a few things scarier than a bipolar vampire off his meds, but to be honest, not that many.

Oliver: You turned me down. So why, I wonder, did you decide Amelie would be a better choice?Claire: She smells better. And she made me cookies.

If you see Myrnin, tell him I said I want my slow cooker back.””Your- You let him borrow something you put food in?”Hannah’s smile disappeared. “Why?””Um, never mind. I’ll make sure it gets disinfected before...

Blame Eve.

It’s dreadfully unfair to say things like that when this is likely the last time we will speak and we both know you don’t mean what you say. It’s pure selfishness that you want to...

Bad men skulking in the darkness have always been there, and always will.

He’s named you heir apparent to the Apocalypse. Congratulations.

She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose. When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. ‘Nuh-uh. Mine.”Share!’ she demanded.’Man, you are one...

He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard, then pulled his hand back with a snap.”Ah,” he said. “Must deactivate the security….Turn around, please.””What?””Turn around, Claire. It’s a secure password!””You have GOT to be...

And without forgiveness, there is never any peace.

Hey!” Claire called after him, as she leaned her backpack against the wall.”No onions!””Your loss!””I meant for YOU! Not if you want to get kissed tonight!””Damn, girl. Harsh.

Here’s a tip…If you leave a girl crying you’re probably not doing your Don Juan routine right, asshole.

Where’s your sense of adventure?” “Off on a beach somewhere with your sanity?

Hold on, Claire Bear! Next stop, Crazytown!

Just wanted to remind you that we’re out of milk again. And hot sauce.””Why are those two always out at the same time? Because those do not go together.””I suspect Shane. He’d put hot sauce...

Look, I hate good-byes, too. But sometimes, we need them just to survive.

Wake me for the massacre, okay? Don’t want to miss it.

I had no name for that particular hue of orange, other than unfortunate.

Don’t run I never liked fast food

I never meant it,” he was saying. “Never meant it to happen. Can’t stand it,seeing her suffer. Must do something, do something… What do I do? What can I do…?

I didn’t bring you here,” he said. “You think you’re Miss Special Destiny of the year?””No,” I shot back, furious. “And I don’t damn well want to be – whatever the hell you are. But...

You know,’ Shane said twenty minutes later, ‘I’d feel a whole lot better about the two of us if you didn’t think i was the go-to guy for breaking and entering.’She felt a flash of...

Follow my finger.” He moved it around, tracking my eye movements. “Any blurred vision?””Well I think I’m hallucinating, because I see a big talking pile of crap.” – Joanne Baldwin.

I drink blood, you eat tacos, get the f*ck over it!” -Michel Glass

Mirnin: Where’s Shreve?

You are just landmark stupid, aren’t you? Has Guinness called yet about that world record?

You come back to us or I swear, I’ll find you, dig up your stinky corpse, and kick its ass until it freaking disintegrates.

Must we argue word choice? Now?

I’m gonna kill him,” Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow.Stake him right in the heart, shove garlic up his ass, and-and-“And what?” (Michael)When did you get...

Jeez, Claire. I used to distract myself with sports stats at times like these, but now you’ve gone and ruined it.

It’s because you’re young and you refuse to acknowledge what you are. What it means. What it promises. You’re fighting your condition, and that makes it almost impossible for you to control yourself. You need...

So you’re saying I thrive on chaos.

Nothing here is like fighting vampires,’ I said. ‘It’s more like fighting smoke. I think I liked it when I had an actual enemy to face.”Oh, don’t worry, you have some. We just haven’t seen...

Vampires can hear us, anyway.

Oh — who’s the Queen?””Her, of course. The White Queen. You’re just like Alice, you know. Down the rabbit hole with the Mad Hatter.

„…And he doesn’t like you to call him Mr. McStabby, you know.””Have you ever seen him cutting up that meat? He is like an artist with slicing. And that knife is as long as my...

He’s not getting out of here again…But you don’t have to go all Marquis de Sade on him either. Just kill him or let me.