Love is missing your flight because you have a train to catch. I also have a football to catch.

My love is fountainesque. Is your body drinkable?

I’m like a sexually active bumper sticker. Canned vagina is always so hard to open and eat. Honk if you’re a lover—and in a hurry.

To their eyes, I was love. To their ears, I was truth. To their noses, I was anus.

The Lord had the wonderful advantage of being able to work alone.

I have the most wonderful children. I’ve been very, very blessed.

I have this wonderful personal chef who sources and stocks all my organic produce and I basically live on five smoothies a day. I’m totally vegan. I blend this green concoction with kale, cucumber, broccoli,...

Well, I think In Love and War, which had a wonderful performance by Sandy, Sandra Bullock, who the authorities and, the supposed authorities, in cinema didn’t want to know about.

It’s too bad I’m not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

It’s amazing. I can’t believe how brilliant the whole thing is – my daughter, Georgia, is just wonderful.

I admire your mustache madam, but I wonder, what’s for dessert?” Knowing her and knowing me, she probably thought I meant I love you.

At some point, one asks, “Toward what end is my life lived?” A great freedom comes from being able to answer that question. A sleeper can be decoyed out of bed by the sheer beauty...

We’re all somewhere 1-100 in love. I’m always 100.

If you don’t learn how to drown, you won’t learn how to love.

My love smells like an empty mayonnaise jar. It ought to, because that’s where I store it. Coincidentally, my love also looks and tastes like mayonnaise.

I need a tube-shaped bathtub, to play the tuba in. I make love like I make music—in a shower that’s in a phone booth that’s in 1981, the year before I was born.

Through my quick action, I was able to capture her mannerism and store it in a jar. It looks like mayonnaise, but it tastes like love.

A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect.

Marriage is wonderful.

If you fill your mind with wonderful thoughts, there can be no room left for doubt.

Until two days ago what had driven him was the will to survive: deep, animal, full of rage—but always part of him had not cared at all whether he lived or died. Now he did...

Oh my goodness, they are rocking so many variations of my high-top fade. I mean, Rihanna has taken it to a very angular 21st Century thing. Miss Fantasia has it in a very seductive, you...

You never know who you’re inspiring or uninspiring. People notice more than you think.

But you speak of Master Gandalf, as if he was in a story that had come to an end.’ ‘Yes, we do,’ said Pippin sadly. ‘The story seems to be going on, but I am...

A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away.

The wonderful thing is that it’s so incredibly easy to be kind.

I keep my love for her in the ashtray, along with the other stuff she burnt.

A bear trap eats, but does not drink. My love, however, drinks, but does not eat.

I think we all should be in love once in our lifetime, even if we’re in love with someone who’s not alive in our lifetime. Long distance relations are hard, especially when you’re separated by...

Do Not Eat.” Since I don’t feel like cooking or making love, I’ll probably have it for dinner tonight.

My agent tells me I am drawing the largest salary ever paid in the halls of England. Wonderful, isn’t it? for a quiet, rural gardener like myself.

Paris is a wonderful city. I can’t say I belong to an especially anglophone community.

The world is a strange and wonderful place.

The sun shines every day without being told that it is brilliant. The mountains stand tall and majestic though no one informs them of their grandeur. The winds twirl and dance with clouds, lacking cheers...

Every villain is a hero in his own mind.

Even I never dreamed of Magic like this!

A modern-day Dickens with a popular voice and a genius for storytelling in any genre, Stephen King has written many wonderful books.

How wonderful it must be, I thought, to be able to just spread your wings whenever you like without someone following you around trying to swat you out of the sky.

She wasn’t much for words, but she told me she loved me in other ways, like showing me her main superpower—invisibility. I often wouldn’t see her for weeks straight, and for her to show me...

There’s no room for love in my life. My car trunk is already full of groceries, a spare tire, and two kidnap victims.

I think I found the love of my life. Boy, I’m glad I cleaned out my fish tank.

When I’m old and I brush my teeth and her dentures, I’ll smile because that is love—and that is disgusting.

Love is an intense flickable mystery, like a booger.

I love favors, because a favor is, instead of me doing something or paying you anything, why don’t you do it for me for free?

In the meantime, it is best to grab what wonderful moments you find lying around.

As my manager says, ‘These are wonderful problems.’

You know Hollywood is a weird and wonderful place, I didn’t know I Dream of Jeanie had been cancelled after 5 years until I went back to go on the lot to pick up some...

Thom is one of those wonderful people to cook for because he absolutely loves it, just loves it. He loves to eat and drink and he’d be a great guest at any dinner party.

The idea that we are not going to look after the Great Barrier Reef, which is just a wonderful tourism resource that it can be just for one example – we are not going to...

This world can be quite wonderful once you let yourself be a part of it. It’s on your side, you know?