It’s very important the toilet be beautiful, that this stage is reflected. If a child suffers trauma, then he will have adult neuroses.

I saw a white toilet, with no plumbing, alone in a field of snow. Well, almost alone. There were two naked albinos and a polar bear sitting on it, and I felt inspired to write...

Apple juice looks so much like urine that the only way to tell them apart is to remember that I keep my pee in the fridge, and the apple juice in the toilet. Help yourself...

I rushed to the bathroom for every corner of the hospital was suffocating. I got hold of acid-bottle, which was meant for toilet cleaning. As I took it into my hands, I realized I had...

Don’t get married in a house where there is no toilet.

The trail of lime trees outside our building is still a public loo. …where else are they supposed to go to the toilet in a city where public toilets are about as common as UFO...

I hear phonetically on the phone. Toiletries sounds like toilet trees to me.

I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of...

If I owned a house that had a bathroom with no toilet, only a urinal, I’d call that the number one room, and I could easily both describe it and point to it with one...

The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has ‘civilized’ us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish.

I want to pour your voice into a goldfish bowl before flushing it down the toilet.

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl…there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go…’…if it hadn’t been for his head…

I always leave the toilet seat up. It’s just easier to wash my hair that way.

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.

When I go house hunting, I use a rather large gun. You should see me fish for the best tasting Starbucks coffee. Oh, and can I borrow your plunger?

Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you’ve – you’ve blown up a toilet or –””Blown up a toilet? We’ve never blown up a toilet.””Great...

Coffee is the only brown liquid I’d drink out of a toilet. Well, almost the only one, as I’d drink number two for the number one in my life.

No, thanks,” said Harry. “The toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick.” Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he’d said.

I love nature. It beats having to flush.

The reason why women think men should spend a lot of money on an engagement ring is because women are the ones who get to clean up all the poop (stains and toilet bowl swirls...

This work is the link between my Dear Natalie piece and my upcoming Agatha work. It bridges that lapse in time and shows how my thinking has changed. It shows me telling a story through...

Somebody should merge motorcycles and toilets. You know, for the lover in all of us, just waiting to be released.