Submitted for your approval–the curious case of Colleen O’Brien and thegorgeous time traveling Scot who landed in her living room.” – Rod Serling

The way my vacuum cleaner sucks up cat hair, I shouldn’t have been surprised when it huffed up my mustache. But I was surprised it sucked out all the love and romance in our relationship.

I have to wonder if you’re not being slightly naive here. I mean, are you saying that you want nothing for people? You have no motives? Everybody has motives. Name the person, the circumstances, I’ll...

I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku.

Her boyfriend can’t hold a candle to me. Especially not while I’m holding the strobe light. It’s hard to do modern dancing when you’re living like it’s 1882. Still, I make it look pretty easy.

The structure of straight coupledom still represents an appropriation of the physical and psychic energy of women to benefit men. And insofar as gay people re-create the straight couple, this structure of violence, domination, and...

My girl didn’t step out on me. She just stood in the doorway and wouldn’t close the door.

I had a dream about you. You took control of my body and forced me to have sex with you. Then you called the cops, and the police said I raped you—but I was the...

They sought the pain they knew so well and called it love.

People are more likely to like you if you treat them with respect and Linseed oil.

Men’s loyalty to their women dies hard – and almost always too late. (“I’m Dangerous Tonight”)

Terrifying, that the loss of intimacy with one person results in the freezing over of the world, and the loss of oneself! And terrifying that the terms of love are so rigorous, its checks and...

This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience – it looks for a way of being constructive.Love is not possessive.Love is not anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of...

It was my grandmother who first told me that a woman marries a man in the belief that he’ll change but he doesn’t — and a man marries a woman in the belief that she...

And no one, no one should know what passes between husband and wife if they love one another. And whatever quarrels there may be between them they ought not to call in their own mother...

Two heads are better than one because the more people that get involved, the easier it is to reach an agreement. This is why committees are so efficient.

I’m older now than my dad was when he was my age. Wait, that’s not right. That’s not my dad at all, that’s just some stranger hanging around in my memory.

I’m not just a guy’s guy. I also have a mom.

I was just another lost soul screaming through the paper thin hotel walls into the ears of the fucked.

Pull a thread in my story and feel the tremor half a world and two millenia away.

You look the conflict with your ego & i look the same conflict with thought.Your ego never gives me a second chance..we are left to suffer!

I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with...

There are so many things that demand to be said. Where did you go? Do you ever think about me? You’ve ruined me. Are you okay? But of course, I can’t say any of that.

Second place is twice as good as first place, when you’re competing to put another person first. Losers make the best lovers.

As I’ve said, it wasn’t until a long time afterwards—long after I’d left the Cottages—that I realized just how significant out little encounter in the churchyard had been. I was upset at the time, yes....

And then the line was quite but not dead. I almost felt like he was there in my room with me, but in a way it was better, like I was not in my room...

There will be a time when love is beautiful and passionate and nothing else will exist but you and the person you love, and a time when love hurts so badly that you will wish...

I have to say, her blonde bob was amazing. The delicate way it hugged her face and neck. The softness of it…

Sometimes you get everything you ever wanted, only it doesn’t look like what you wanted anymore.

The wonderful, beautiful thing that happens when you rid yourself of the things that don’t see your worth? You make space in your life for all the glorious things you deserve.

Faithfulness in small things leads to faithfulness in great things, and never the other way around.

…the opposite of love is not hate — it’s apathy. It’s not giving a damn. If somebody hates me, they must “feel” something … or they couldn’t possibly hate. Therefore, there’s some way in which...

Oh, those warm days of stumbling words; blinded eyes, embracing in sweet slow dances and sipping courage from a bottle for sneaking kisses.

First we must understand that all of the world’s deceptions flow from the belief that love is primarily for the fulfillment and comfort of the self. The world poisons love by focusing first and foremost...

Mom has the Touch. She knows what flowers go with what occasions, what hors d’oeuvres work with what people. She believes passionately in the power of food to heal, restore, and stimulate relationships, and she...

Every rose has it’s thorn, but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with a ton of pricks.

Watching him with one eye, she wondered if men ever figured out that they were more appealing when they were pursuing their own work than when they were pursuing a woman.

It reached a point where the paranoia was getting to me. Everywhere I looked, it seemed like people were hanging out, wanting to date, hooking up, wanting to hook up—it was relationships, relationships, relationships everywhere....

It requires a genuine willingness to be transparent and vulnerable. It demands courage and commitment to plummet into those depths that she would rather turn a blind eye to. Yet once seen, the seeing and...

(On differences between men and boys) Men know what they want. Men make concrete plans. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn’t on the floor. Men tip generously. Men buy new...

Or maybe I, like, cuddle raped him or something.

There was no singles problem until singles got so single-minded that they stopped wasting time with anyone ineligible. Before that, it was understood that one of society’s main tasks was matchmaking. People with lifelong friendships...

A man who lives with his wife is safer and more venerable than a man who lives with a tramp.

Make love to me,” I whispered. They were words uttered before, but this time they held the weight of the moment and our will to never let it go. Eli needed no further permission and...

There are a lot of things wrong with this particular approach to getting your girlfriend to agree to reenter a relationship with you. Probably the biggest problem is that it’s a PowerPoint presentation.

Everyday it gets easier to connect with an electronic device that it is to connect with real people.

On a day like this, we women would be completely and utterly happy just to have a man hold our cold hands and massage our aching backs. We’d be so blissfully happy we wouldn’t know...

Lydon Johnson realized he really was President, that his identity had changed by President Kennedy’s shocking death, when aides who had been like family to him minutes before, stood in his presence on Air Force...

The stars, like the hollow eyes of a god forgotten, marry the sadness of the exhausted hour and inspire a little chaos, a little gentleness, to those below. I look up at the sky and...

Because of this.Because your funny.Because you know Lolita.And Nabukov and James Mason too.Because you’re cute and funny and i’m kind of sad and you haven’t tried hitting on me once.Because you weren’t even trying…