I had no idea he thought he was funny, tried to be funny, or actually is funny until he made me laugh so hard I peed all over his feet at the urinal.

I need a water/glory mix of 2:1. That’d make me piss like a champion.

I need your help. Hold this water balloon while I pee in it.

Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?

I feel like I might start crying and that I’m going to cry pee.

I had to stop him from arresting an old lady who let her dog urinate against the fire hydrant that was in front of Burgerville headquarters.”You’ll blow our cover.””But what if there is a fire?””The...

When people try to rain on your parade,…pee on theirs

You are all made of real poop.

You can take a dog outside, but you can’t make it pee

I had a dream about you, You were peeing behind a house and when I approached you, you smiled and said to me “Your face makes me happy” I was so flattered by your words...

Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey that’s where you pee and bonk! And nobody will say, hey, your penis...

I park my car in the parking spot right next to the parking spot my bed is in, just in case I have to pee quickly (at above 65 miles per hour).

You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you,” Garrett joked.

Apple juice looks so much like urine that the only way to tell them apart is to remember that I keep my pee in the fridge, and the apple juice in the toilet. Help yourself...