Dick Martin, if you put a gun to his forehead, he couldn’t tell you a joke.

I told the joke, but someone else got the high five. That’s like me drinking a cup of coffee and a guy in a coma waking up. Go back to bed, buddy.

No, we are building a joke.”

Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.

Yo Mama’s like a library, open to the public.

All he cares about is going out there with his Jack Daniels bottle. Nothing has changed. That’s kind of sad. If David was doing better than he used to be, then that would be different....

Here at the shop we joke that none of us would know how to cast if the wind stopped blowing.

An old joke has an Oxford professor meeting an American former graduate student and asking him what he’s working on these days. ‘My thesis is on the survival of the class system in the United...

Why do we have to humiliate someone to crack a joke??? Do what u would like people to do with u..

I ought to be jealous of the tower. She is more famous than I am.

Viktor was swinging a leather duffle and wearing a black Adidas tracksuit and his favorite brown UGG slippers with a hole in the toe.”Worn and old, just like Viv,” he’d say when Frankie made fun...

For with dandies, a joke is the only way of making yourself respected.

Honey, no offense, but sometimes I think I could shoot you and watch you kick.