The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in...

Elliot Rawley was a drinker, Cy’s mother had been right. And he was a poor drinker. One that let the demons of the bottle into his head when he tipped it back, demons that went...

Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel’s nipples.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Ivanov: Gentlemen, you’ve again set up a drinking shop in my study… I have asked each and every one of you a thousand times not to do that… Look now, you’ve spilt vodka on a...

I don’t drink to make others look better, I just drink to make myself feel prettier.

Mulled ale for the frozen man,And mulled ale for the weary:For mulled ale is the body’s friendAnd makes the sick heart merry.

I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it.

Rick feels almost the way he used to halfway through his third drink, his favorite moment, the way he wishes all moments in life could feel: heightened with the sense that anything could happen at...

Karate, I get a real kick out of it. I would get a kick out of coffee, but I’ve got better ways of stirring, like renting Michael Phelps’ 400 IM time.

When I see a cop’s lights behind me at two in the morning, and I have my disco ball dangling from my rearview mirror, it’s like, Hey, a party! Especially if I’ve been drinking.

I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance.

I think you polished that one off after last week’s date.” His voice is low right next to my ear, very nearly causing a shiver.

How do I feel today? I feel as unfit as an unfiddle,And it is the result of a certain turbulence in the mind and an uncertain burbulence in the middle.What was it, anyway, that angry...

When a man wants to have an alehouse meltdown, the worst thing you can do is stand in his way

Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector…and miss.

I think piracy is a bit like drinking. You want to stay out all night doing it, you pay the price the next day.