As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.

In a recent Valentine’s Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that – oh, who cares?

I’m not a party guy. I don’t carouse very much.

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some.

Every now and then you get a nice Jewish kid who likes black people and they would come in, and it would be a stream of them, and have black friends and really feel the...

All I remember is the last time I played a videogame, it was Space Invaders.

A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won’t get a bikini wax.

I’m really funny now.

Directing is creating a whole. You’re able to combine different elements and create a film that is unique and true to your vision.

Susan is just great. I know I’m biased, but she’s a great actress.

If I’m not working, I don’t know what to do.

I write screenplays that don’t get made and pilots that don’t get picked up, and I re-write other people’s movies, and those are all different kinds of fees.

And the separatist terrorist organization, PKK, had easy access to Turkey to, inside Turkey.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.

I watch old school film so that I can learn so much that I just sort of miss all the new stuff.

The Yale group was doing the Harold. So by our senior year we were trying to do the Harold. Again, we had no idea what we were doing. We had one guy in the group...

Whenever I date a guy, I think, ‘Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?’

Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal.

I ran spotlight. Swept up. Did box office. Ran the lighting board. But acting was the most fun.

The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst room for conversation. I’d get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I...

Sandwiches are wonderful. You don’t need a spoon or a plate!

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.

There was expectations that the fights there, the operation there might be extended for several months, even for several years. But within a few weeks it ended, because obviously the Taliban wasn’t a real force.

I actually think I’m more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn’t pull his head into the shell very often, I in...

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don’t know I’m firing blanks.

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.

With Ice Cube they ain’t no telling. He might have one cocked and loaded, ready to bust. We might do The Sunday, two old men sitting around the house waiting on the social security check.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I don’t know if it’s a woman’s tone of voice or training. Maybe guys are like, When I go home, I have to hear it. Right now I’m at work.

I’m the kind of person who does not remember bad things.

If you find yourself in a movie that you have questions about, it’s not a compromise to your integrity.

I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I always pour wine from that.

Congress: Bingo with billions.

If a weakly mortal is to do anything in the world besides eat the bread thereof, there must be a determined subordination of the whole nature to the one aim no trifling with time, which...

I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.

It’s not communism, it’s shouldn’t be that everybody gets a try no matter how good or bad they are. It’s our profession and our art, so we should eventually strive to be working with the...

I’ve never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I’ve done a lot of stuff. I don’t know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching...

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the...

Everybody that’s living in this earth is living in a situation. It’s not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes.

I remember watching Gilda Radner when I was a kid and everyone thought she was so funny and no one ever said that she was a funny woman, she was just funny.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.

If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me...

I couldn’t care less about being a presenter at the Oscars.

There are a great number of Republicans who are economically conservative but have hearts and a consciousness about their country.

It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.

I’ve never had to write a spec script.

Ataturk sent several Turkish staff officers to Afghanistan, helped them build their own army.

It’s not the hair on your head that matters. It’s the kind of hair you have inside.