As I’m sure you know, there are two types of “What?” in the world. The first type simply means “Excuse me, I didn’t hear you. Could you please repeat yourself?” The second type is a...

Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.

Es inútil que os describa lo mal que se sintieron Violet, Klaus y Sunny el tiempo que siguió. Si habéis perdido a alguien muy importante para vosotros, ya sabéis lo que se siente; y, si...

The book did not say anything about a statue, valuable or otherwise, and so I stopped reading about the Bombinating Beast and got interested in the chapter about the Stain’d witches, who had ink instead...

Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against...

Of course you can trust me,” Jake Hix said. “We read the same books.

I have gone into town to buy a few last things we need for the expedition: Peruvian wasp repellent, toothbrushes, canned peaches, and a fireproof canoe. It will take a while to find the peaches,...

Imagining the worst doesn’t keep it from happening.

Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn’t that be satisfying?

Count Olaf had taken out a bottle of wine to pour himself some breakfast, but when he saw the book he stopped, and sat down.

I don’t know why wicked places generally look wicked. You’d think they’d look nice, to fool people, but they hardly ever do.

I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.

Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t so.

A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.

The library turned out to be a very pleasant place, but it was not the comfortable chairs, the huge wooden bookshelves, or the hush of people reading that made the three siblings feel so good...

I’m afraid it’s not nonsense,” Genghis said, shaking his turbaned head and continuing his story. “As I was saying before the little girl interrupted me, the baby didn’t dash off with the other orphans. She...

Pero un tipo de libro que a casi nadie le gusta leer es un libro sobre leyes. Los libros sobre leyes son muy largos, muy aburridos y muy difíciles. Es una de las razones por...

The world is swirling with so many mysteries and secrets that nobody will ever track down all of them. But with a book you can stay up very late, reading until all the secrets are...

Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something

I’m jealous of your hooks,” Kevin replied. “Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands.”Don’t be ridiculous,” one of the white-faced women replied. “Having a white face is worse than both of...

O, great wise man,’ she said, ‘I have been wondering so many things. Is life more than sitting at home doing the same thing over and over? Wise man, is life more than watching one’s...

There are some who say that you should forgive everyone, even the people whohave disappointed you immeasurably. There are others who say you should not forgive anyone, and should stomp off in a huff no...

Whenever you are examining someone else’s belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things about the person of which you were not previously aware.

No lo entendían, pero, como tantos otros sucesos desafortunados de la vida, no por no entenderlos dejan de ser ciertos

People who think nothing can go wrong are usually disappointed.

Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don’t.

We represent the true human condition, the one permanent victory over cruelty and chaos. . . . Our true home is the imagination, and our kingdom is the wide-open world.

People who think nothing could go wrong are usually disappointed.

In some stories, it’s easy. The moral of “The Three Bears,” for instance, is “Never break into someone else’s house.” The moral of “Snow White” is “Never eat apples.” The moral of World War One...

In the meantime, it is best to grab what wonderful moments you find lying around.

Read about things that wouldn’t keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair.

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.

It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happiness is easier to get used to than despair. The second time you have a root beer...

No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don’t read is often as important as what you do read.

The story of the book filled the car with exciting adventures of the sort that are fun to read about, so we didn’t have to think about the exciting adventures of the sort that are...

In between bites of banana, Mr. Remora would tell stories, and the children would write the stories down in notebooks, and every so often there would be a test. The stories were very short, and...

Tu opinión inicial acerca de casi cualquier cosa puede cambiar con el paso del tiempo.

There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is...

As I am sure you know, when people say ‘It’s my pleasure,’ they usually mean something along the lines of, ‘There’s nothing on Earth I would rather do less.’ […]

Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged swordKit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events)

An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does

Some people think destiny is something you cannot escape, such as death or a curdled cheesecake, both of which always turn up sooner or later.

But the law is an odd thing. For instance, one country in Europe has a law that requires all its bakers to sell bread at the exact same price. A certain island has a law...

Los peores sitios del mundo se pueden soportar si la gente que allí habita es interesante y amable.

The world is too quiet without you nearby.

Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about...

Is it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty events will occur whether you are frightened or not?

Hungry people should be fed. It takes some people a long time to figure this out.

It was another thing you didn’t learn at a top-drawer school. Bickering is like baldness or lousy gifts. It runs in families.