All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.

A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means “standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy...

For some stories, it’s easy. The moral of ‘The Three Bears,’ for instance, is “Never break into someone else’s house.’ The moral of ‘Snow White’ is ‘Never eat apples.’ The moral of World War I...

I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hope.

You cannot wait for an untroubled world to have an untroubled moment. The terrible phone call, the rainstorm, the sinister knock on the door—they will all come. Soon enough arrive the treacherous villain and the...

They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.

If you were upset about an ugly pimple on the end of your nose, you might try to feel better by keeping your pimple in perspective. You might compare your pimple situation to that of...

Pero las leyes son un poco raras. Por ejemplo, un país de Asia tiene una ley que obliga a que todas las bicicletas tengan las ruedas del mismo tamaño. Una isla tiene una ley que...

Sunny held Kit, and Violet held Klaus, and for a minute the four castaways did nothing but weep, letting their tears run down their faces and into the sea, which some have said is nothing...

Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of “systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister,” which is easier done than said.

Anyone who knew Violet well could tell she was thinking hard, because her long hair was tied up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes. Violet had a real knack for inventing...

As she worked, she remembered something her parents had said to her when Klaus was born, and against when they brought Sunny home from the hospital. ‘you are the eldest Baudelaire child,’ they had said,...

Are you saying that being a criminal is a matter of opinion?” I asked.Qwerty smiled, but it was sad around the edges. “No,” he said. “It’s a matter of handcuffs.

This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.

The children nodded in agreement, and rose from the table. Leaving their dirty breakfast dishes behind, which is not a good thing to do in general but perfectly acceptable in the face of an emergency.

You cannot have a really terrific library without at least one terrific librarian, the way you cannot have a really terrific bedroom unless you can lock the door.

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered...

Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.

It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly...

If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn’t mean that you would be...

It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job.

It is one of life’s bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.

There’s nothing wrong with athletics, but they shouldn’t get in the way of your schoolwork.

They’re book addicts.

All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found

The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.

Instead of the word ‘love’ there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes.

Inside these letters, the eye will seeNearby are your friends, and VFD.

Si conocieseis al Conde Olaf y éste de repente os sirviese el desayuno, ,no temeríais que contuviese algo terrible, como veneno o cristal hecho añicos?

He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you when he actually had several and simply wanted to see you get soaked.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have. For instance, if you wake up to the sound...

Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.

You are noble enough,” and remind us of our good qualities when we have forgotten them, or cast them into doubt.

It is unwise to make something permanent when the whole world is shifting.

The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.

She took Sunny’s coat off, and then her own, and dropped them both on the floor. Normally, of course, one should hang up one’s coat on a hook or in a closet, but itchy hives...

Look!” Mr. Poe said, who was still too far to help but close enough to see. “Genghis has an eye tattoo, like Count Olaf! In fact, I think he IS Count Olaf!””Of course he is!”...

In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied “I love you back” and...

It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.

Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.

it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person, just when the presence of friends is most needed.

In the vast majority of cases, however, getting into trouble has nothing to do with one’s self-esteem. It usually has much more to do with whatever is causing the trouble – a monster, a bus...

Así pues, a menos que hayáis sido muy, muy afortunados, sabréis que una buena y larga sesión de llanto a menudo puede haceros sentir mejor, aunque vuestras circunstancias no hayan cambiado lo más mínimo.

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.

Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.

Occasionally, events in one’s life become clearer through the prism of experience, a phrase which simply means that things tend to be clearer as time goes on. For instance, when a person is just born,...

As I’m sure you know, there are two types of “What?” in the world. The first type simply means “Excuse me, I didn’t hear you. Could you please repeat yourself?” The second type is a...

Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.

Es inútil que os describa lo mal que se sintieron Violet, Klaus y Sunny el tiempo que siguió. Si habéis perdido a alguien muy importante para vosotros, ya sabéis lo que se siente; y, si...