Write like no one is reading.

That girl is a grade one a-hole with a severe attitudinal problem.

I want to be spontaneous like a wild animal.

She was born to be free, let her run wild in her own way and you will never lose her.

Hidden in the glorious wildness like unmined gold.

A blanket could be used to stop terrorism. Unless that terrorist has a small knife, or really sharp teeth, and is able to chew through the cloth separating him from our American freedom.

A blanket could be used to mimic the mating call of my crumpled-up clone. Isn’t silence seductive?

A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right now: I get to be quarterback.

A brick could be used as a way to motivate yourself to succeed. I’m proof that it works. It’s how I managed to get second to last in my last race.

A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s eyes out.

A brick could be used as a pillow, if you first wrap it with a blanket. But if you’re shivering from being cold, don’t worry—I’ll cover you with my naked body.

A blanket could be twirled in the air, like a new idea in your mind, and then either discarded or folded up like a wearable memory.

Brick and Blanket could be the names of two characters in a screenplay full of witty dialogue like: Brick: Hello! Blanket: Hi! Brick: How are you? Blanket: Good. You? Brick: Good.

Compatibility is weird. Love is confusing. Love is one wild beast.

Bring your son to work night” at NAMBLA’s manufacturing plant. What does NAMBLA make? NAMBLA makes me sick.

A brick is a mythical object that empowers its handler and enables them to conquer the world and control the globe through secret occult knowledge. Just ask the Masons.

A brick could be used to help you maintain a balanced diet, by keeping your head perfectly still with the brick steady on your skull while you eat.

A blanket could represent change, and a brick represents consistency. Do you embrace the blanket, or the brick?

A blanket could be used as a shield, in a fight with a cold shower. I know, because I won that battle this morning, only I wielded a sword—and an erection made of sleep.

A blanket could be used like a cat, if it were furry and purred.

The issues of life present us with invitations to grow; which are wild by their very nature. Wildly arresting or wildly liberating. These moments are inevitable and impossible to avoid; but unequivocally for our edification....

A wealth of knowledge is openly accessible in nature. Our ancestors knew this and embraced the natural cures found in the bosoms of the earth. Their classroom was nature. They studied the lessons to be...

There is a need to find and sing our own song, to stretch our limbs and shake them in a dance so wild that nothing can roost there, that stirs the yearning for solitary voyage.

I am the Magic Chicken of Desire. Just add water. And a brick and a blanket.

A blanket could be used to attract a potential mate. I’ve already got my mate. I bought her in a mannequin store (she was on sale).

A brick could be used to suppress certain groups of people, particularly those individuals who are too weak to stand up and say Hey, somebody get this brick off of me—it’s crushing me!

A blanket could be used as a TV screen. How? No—why? Even better—why not? Why not wrap yourself up in your favorite TV shows and let the screen warm your body and soul?

A blanket could be used as wrapping paper, to give the gift of a cat.

A blanket could be used to keep you warm on a cold night. Just pour some gasoline on it and light it on fire.

A blanket is a shield, blocking out the breeze, and an insulator, keeping in body heat.

A brick could be used to direct traffic. Use a brick from the scene of the accident, where some driver ran into a brick wall.

A brick could be used to locate the precise coordinates of the Masons. Just follow the bricks—and follow the money.

A blanket could be used as a cover of your favorite song by your favorite cover band.

A brick could be used to ascertain the truth. And then logically, a non-brick could be used to detect the lie. What kind of things are non-bricks? Well, anything from blankets to lies. So therefore,...

A brick could be used as a status symbol, much like a Mercedes is now. The cool thing about a brick is not only would it have zero emissions, but it would also have a...

A brick could be placed down on the first step on the path to enlightenment.

By nature men are uncontrollable and wild, and it should be, but women have the key to control them, if they know how to use it.

A blanket could be used to suppress yawns. Just curl up in the technological wonder that is a blanket, lay your head back, and let the miracle of science cure your yawns.

A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity.

This is my building—and my office has the best possible view.”

When we accept our own wild beauty, it is put into perspective, and we are no longer poignantly aware of it anymore, but neither would we forsake it or disclaim it either. Does a wolf...

A blanket could be used to stop a train. Another good thing to use would be brakes. I’ll sell you a set of train breaks for the price of a warm night’s sleep.

A brick could be used to test how fast you throw a baseball, if, you know, baseballs were cube-shaped and integral to the construction of houses.

Let the wild ruckus commence.

But I can hardly sit still. I keep fidgeting, crossing one leg and then the other. I feel like I could throw off sparks, or break a window–maybe rearrange all the furniture.

A brick could be traded for a soon-to-be abandoned baby. Let’s build a better future together.

A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I was too blind to hear. I’m hungry for a bowl full of mute, but my favorite restaurant is out of the Helen...

A blanket could be used to express my condolences. I’m sorry to have to tell you I’m sorry, but that’s life, you know?

A brick could be used like yellow sneezes hello every time love walks like a slinky down the stairs. Who used my shoe as a soup bowl?

Stop” as you hold out a stiff arm and just stand there. It might feel like you’re waiting your whole life for that train to stop, and quite possibly you will wait your whole life...