A brick could be sawed in half and each half glued under the back of a shoe to form high heels.

A brick could be used to wade into dangerous territory with a man named Wade who builds houses made only of wood. But if you’re going to play with fire, I suggest you wear a...

A blanket could be used to crack the code of love. What is it, where do I find it, and how much do I charge people to buy it once I do find a reliable...

A blanket could be used to swallow up the nightmares you used to have as a kid. Whatever happened to those bad dreams? I’ll bet your mom gave them to Good Will.

A blanket could be used like cloud cover

transparent” administration.

A blanket could be used like Lenny McDenny says hello. He never says hi, because he only says goodbye. He’s always leaving and never arriving. I’m like that too, except I’m always arriving and never...

A blanket, no matter how thin, could be sliced thinner, and in this way one blanket could be used to keep a multitude of people warm. But not that warm.

A brick could be used as a cock block.

A brick could be used like the point where always meets never. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to watch a brick levitate?

A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.

A brick could be used like March 5th marches in a marching band. And guess what, as the marching band director, I am the cement that holds everyone’s shoes in sync at the bottom of...

Do I mind losing? No, because losses and wins are just the bricks on the path to success. Both losing and winning are needed to find prosperity.

I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way.

A brick could be fired out of a cannon, in an attempt to bring down a brick wall, just as index fingers could be severed and flicked at politicians, to try to correctly redirect blame.

Through the miracle of science, or divine intervention, a brick could be made soft, like Jell-O, and a blanket could be made rigid, like the laws regarding the speed limit, as interpreted by the cop...

A brick and a blanket need a logo, and I’m just the designer to hire to sit around idly as I ideally charge you by the hour.

The wild nature has a vast integrity to it. It means to establish one’s territory, to find one’s pack, to be in one’s body with certainty and pride regardless of the body’s gifts and limitations,...

A brick could be used to brighten up your day, like a lampshade over the sun dangling down over your dining room table. You’d better apply sunscreen to your ice cream or it’ll likely melt...

A blanket could be used to help me with the love and affection of Taylor Swift. If that sounds unbelievable, then try reading it soundlessly.

Oh, now my Erin, she’d smile down on me no matter where I walked.” Grandpop smiled that little smile again. “But I’d be separated from her, and I’d feel that separation in my soul, you...

I think of myself as a little kid, and I had a wild imagination, but it was something that was encouraged and supported, which helped steer me into the arts.

Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them. -Carrie Bradshaw

A blanket could be used to stop gun violence. Make sleep, not war.

A brick could be used to make it harder for people to achieve their dreams. A brick is just another obstacle they have to overcome if they are going to achieve their goals.

A brick could be used to crush the dreams of the little guy. Especially if that little guy’s dreams are roach like and scurrying across the kitchen floor.

A brick could be used to help the needy. Giving a brick as a gift is a symbol showing you want to help build their future.

A brick could be used as a replacement for an erection. Hey, I did it in the early 2000s, and I gave birth to the housing bubble. Well, I didn’t literally give birth to it,...

My hand acts as a blanket for my genitals.

A blanket could be used to keep me from exploding. My patience is wearing thin, and my clothes are also wearing thin, and in some spots you can see through the material, so a blanket...

A brick could be your new best friend. If this appeals to you, it’s probably because people tend to seek the company of others who posses similar intellects and interests. And as I have just...

A brick could be used to satisfy your hunger—and satisfy my curiosity.

A brick could be used to show how patient you are. Somewhere between one brick and a million bricks lies a home. For me, my home is one brick, and I carry it with me...

A blanket could be used in a secretive manner. What? I can’t just tell you how it could be used. What part of secretive don’t you understand?

A brick could be used as a patsy in a murder plot.

I built my marriage brick by brick. And I destroyed it blanket by blanket.

A blanket would be a great surface to print my new book on, so you could read it in bed while you’re having boring, obligatory sex with your spouse, who’s as dry and exciting as...

Just then, down through the last glimmer of twilight, stepping high and free, like a cloud, a moth, a ghost in the shape of a horse — came the Silver Stallion. Wild, beautiful, and free...

A brick could be used as a substitute for the brother I never had. It seems ridiculous, but I’ve always wanted a brother who was smarter than the average politician.

A brick could be modified to be a cell phone, for construction workers who miss the easy to find cell phone size of the 1980s.

A brick could be used to help you get used to the fact that you’ve been used. I’ve been used to, so I know what you’re going through. You’re going through a dark tunnel, and...

A brick could be used to control whole populations of people. Just get a good looking person, like a news anchor, to give it out to the masses and say soothing things with a straight...

What a fucking gorgeous night!

She was savage and superb, wild-eyed and magnificent; there was something ominous and stately in her deliberate progress. And in the hush that had fallen suddenly upon the whole sorrowful land, the immense wilderness, the...

Knocknaree wood was the real thing, and it was more intricate and more secretive than I had remembered. It had its own order, its own fierce battles and alliances. I was an intruder here, now,...

Oh my God,” I huffed. “You were so well-behaved during dinner. I actually thought we could be friends.””No such thing, babe.””What do you mean?””I mean when a man wants a woman like I want you,...

A brick could be used as a pettable non-furry and non-meowing cat.

A blanket of self-regulated trust on a bed of deceit.

A brick could be covered in black fur, cradled, pet, and called Mr. Fizzlebush. The best part is that since it’ll sit still and silent on the bed, it won’t meow or run away when...

A blanket could be used like a giant piece of paper. Most people just want to cum on it, but occasionally someone will want to splash ink on it and try to impregnate the minds...