Do either a brick or a blanket have Buddha nature? The answer is yes and no and maybe, in a Triangle of Truth where there is no is, and there is no isn’t.

A brick could be used as a symbol for the kind of life I’m trying to build. The question now is, what kind of life am I trying to build? Well, I guess I want...

A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn’t real. Hold it in your hands and say, This is not a dream.

A brick is something solid, stable, and yet edgy. In other words, it’s everything a politician isn’t.

I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work...

A blanket and a brick could be put in a ring and paid to fight. Compared to MMA, it would be boring. But compared to boxing, it would be downright thrilling.

One brick is not a wall. Unless you’re an ant, and then it’s not only a wall, it’s a building—a building that has no doors, windows, or people in the form of managers that I’d...

A brick could be tied to a cape, and then exalted as a superhero. Is that any more absurd than Superman?

A brick could be used as a steak knife, and a fly swatter could be used as a meat tenderizer.

I mean, families are weird.

A blanket could be used to stop a train. Another good thing to use would be brakes. I’ll sell you a set of train breaks for the price of a warm night’s sleep.

A brick could be used to flavor your bathtub water, and raise the fluid level, so you perceive that you have more to drink.

I don’t remember ever signing up for weird. It just sort of happened.

Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey that’s where you pee and bonk! And nobody will say, hey, your penis...

It’s really weird seeing someone impersonating you. But at the same time, Vic Reeves’ impersonation of me is one of the highlights of my life.

Sometimes you have to leave someone special without any reason, Sometimes you can’t leave the person with thousands of reason to leave

I find it kind of weird that directors want to put themselves in their films.

She was not too tall, and of a voluptuous build, so that my eyes wandered amid many charms that hitherto had been strangers to them.

I am the Magic Chicken of Desire. Just add water. And a brick and a blanket.

A blanket could be used to attract a potential mate. I’ve already got my mate. I bought her in a mannequin store (she was on sale).

A blanket could be used as a Portable Night Generator. Just stretch it over your head, blocking your eyes from the sun in the sky, and voila! Nighttime.

A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your dreams.

A blanket could be used like a trumpet could be used as a murder weapon. And if the cops ask you what I was doing on the night of June 6th, tell them I was...

A blanket could be used as a distraction. Wave it to the right, while you loot to the left.

A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right now: I get to be quarterback.

A brick could be used to say hi to Pink Floyd.

A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s eyes out.

A brick could be used as a pillow, if you first wrap it with a blanket. But if you’re shivering from being cold, don’t worry—I’ll cover you with my naked body.

A brick could be dropped in a toilet to replicate the sound of shitting bricks. But we wouldn’t have to go through all that trouble if you’d just eat the bricks I put on your...

A brick could be used like a used car salesman uses people. I know, because I used to sell cars. Well, technically I got fired precisely because I didn’t sell any cars.

Compatibility is weird. Love is confusing. Love is one wild beast.

I want to make something of myself. I believe it’s called a statue.

A brick is to a blanket, as the moon is to Sun Tzu. Fear my fearlessness!

A blanket could be used to keep people warm. But take it from me: you want to freeze those dead bodies as soon as they’re cold and lifeless, because you don’t want the bodies staying...

A brick can be used to represent a ruin, or the beginning of new construction. With a brick, the past is the future.

Well now,” the scholar went on, “I’m just an old fuddy-duddy who could use a tan, so you needn’t grant my opinion any authority, but I consider the queendom lucky that a handful of Milliners...

Bricks could be used to promote social progress. If we could amass enough bricks to build a prison big enough to cage every citizen, then everybody would be equal. And I think our current political...

A blanket could be used to make magical music. And no, I’m not talking about sex and wailing orgasms, you pervert. That’s my sister you’re thinking about. And it’s particularly disgusting and disturbing because I...

I don’t like kissing on camera. It’s bad enough to be caught kissing by your parents. But when you have a whole crew watching you, it’s a little weird.

The weird thing was that Soft Cell was supposed to have come and gone before I started the album.

I try not to brand myself ‘weird’ any more because it sticks.

I wanted to do a weird book and reestablish my independent, small-press roots.

I’m, like, super-clumsy and weird and funny and dorky.

When you cross over into the weird stuff, there’s no going back. Hector has a theory on it. Calls it the law of ‘Anomalous Phenomena Attraction.’ He explained it to me once. Didn’t really pay...

A brick could be traded for a soon-to-be abandoned baby. Let’s build a better future together.

A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I was too blind to hear. I’m hungry for a bowl full of mute, but my favorite restaurant is out of the Helen...

A blanket could be used to express my condolences. I’m sorry to have to tell you I’m sorry, but that’s life, you know?

A blanket could be used to swallow up the nightmares you used to have as a kid. Whatever happened to those bad dreams? I’ll bet your mom gave them to Good Will.

A blanket could be used like cloud cover

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