A brick could be used to make music. But why not use something more humane, like your armpit.

I am the burrito wrapped up in a blanket. Eat my warmth.

A brick can be neither good nor bad. A brick just is. And it isn’t, because I just stole it from you, which is good for me, and bad for you.

A blanket could be used to not only make promises, but fulfill them too. They’re so soft and warm, how could they not be used in this manner?

In an infinite Universe anything can happen,” said Ford, “Even survival. Strange but true.

Nobody’s going to notice what’s not there, unless something was there and now is not. But if it wasn’t there all along, it’s mine for the taking, and nobody’s going to say nothing. It’s not...

A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present.

A brick could be substituted in for Rhode Island as a US state, because they’re roughly the same size, the have the same population (the brick may have one less person), and Grandma Kintz makes...

A brick, in the hands of a Mason, could be used to cover up and hide a secret handshake.

A brick could be exchanged for a bar of gold. But be sure you wait until the owner of the gold isn’t looking before you make the switch.

A brick could be used for good, or for evil. The Brick of Creation, or the Brick of Destruction. While you’re deep in thought, contemplating which one you’d rather use, I’ll be over there looting...

A monster’s not a monster to another monster. At least that’s what I thought when I saw my mother-in-law talking to a statue of Stalin.

We made love in the restaurant booth. It was romantic until our waiter knocked on our windshield.

The ice cube melted slowly like a candle, and I thought about my love for her and how it was like an ice cube candle and that I’ve always wanted to drink fire and make...

There’s a marked difference between Mark Ed and Ed Mark. Same as the difference between making love and loving make—and I do both, for a very reasonable price.

I sorted my sordid sort ofs from my maybes. Then I made love like never before. Seriously, I’d never made love before, and I have to say, it didn’t cost me as much money as...

You know, it’s really strange now with the Internet, with everyone having an unsolicited, anonymous opinion.

A brick could be used to prop up a wobbly table—or an unstable relationship. I wish I’d have thought of that before I got divorced.

A blanket could be used as an American flag. It could keep the world warm with its patronizing patriotism and imperialism.

I like the fact that kids are willing to be imaginative and go along with me when I’m telling strange tales.

After an eternity of seeking the sudden threshold of seeing and finding leaves one filled with a strange paradox of ecstasy and grief. I was born to see.

It’s very strange to go from being completely secluded and doing your own work for yourself, to having an audience – and having an audience that’s aware of what you do and expects you to...

She blinked. “Hmm? Oh, don’t care. What did Anubis look like to you?””What did… he looked like a guy. So?””A good-looking guy, or a slobbering dog-headed guy?””I guess… Not the dog-headed guy.””I knew it!” Sadie...

I’ve never thought it strange to do highly contrasting things. I always thought it was all part and parcel of theatrical expression. At school, I loved doing revues, I was in a rock ‘n’ roll...

The house seemed so different at night. Everything was in its correct place, of course, but somehow the furniture seemed more angular and the pictures on the wall more one-dimensional. She remembered somebody saying that...

A brick could be used like a duck could be used like a cat. My duck soup is meowing to be manhandled by a construction worker.

A brick could be used to make it harder for people to achieve their dreams. A brick is just another obstacle they have to overcome if they are going to achieve their goals.

A blanket could be used to announce your intention to announce your intentions. Make sure the blanket is neon orange though, or you might not get the attention you deserve.

A brick could be used to help the needy. Giving a brick as a gift is a symbol showing you want to help build their future.

Stop” as you hold out a stiff arm and just stand there. It might feel like you’re waiting your whole life for that train to stop, and quite possibly you will wait your whole life...

A flag could be used as a blanket, but a blanket couldn’t be used as a flag. A blanket provides real warmth, not the pseudo warmth that patriotism provides. A blanket-flag would leave you shivering—not...

A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the amor.

A blanket is a coffin, if the cops are after you and you have to dump a body quick.

very” while yawning.

A brick could be used as a hammer, which frees up the hammer to be used as a sex toy. The only question is, Which end will you insert? If you’re a politician, I’d recommend...

A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work.

A brick could be used to prop open the door to my heart. But you might not want to leave the Love Door open, because my ex just shit all in there.

A blanket could be used to stimulate the topographical terrain of a mountainous region. Kind of makes you feel like God, if you think about it.

Shit a brick.”

I want to meet a guy named Art. I’d take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.

How strange! A dog is more humane than a human is.

A brick could be affixed to each end of an axle, for an example of transportation in a pre-wheel society.

A brick could be used as a doorstop. But that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is why somebody would want to stop a door, since doors represent openness. What is that person hiding behind that door...

A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away.

Two bricks, parallel and horizontal, equals an equal sign.

Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.

The three of us made love like one of us was a voyeur. I was the only one using binoculars as a sex toy.

Your love, it takes me to the moon. Let’s get back to the film studio and start over. Pour a small cup of coffee while I take one large sip for mankind.

We haven’t spoken in forever, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t love her. That’s what being in love with a mute is all about.

The scope of my problem will easily fit in the scope of my rifle. Too bad true love has to come with a mother-in-law.