But love is strange, as they used to say at the Chameleon Club. Even those of us who value intelligence over appearance have discovered, to our chagrin, that a high IQ doesn’t necessarily translate into...

Buried emotions are caged nighthawks that have fallen in love with the moon. They don’t understand the sun because they were born with the darkness of shadows in their soul.

I’ve often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it’s the one right after the next to the last one.

Someone asked me about the difference between love and lust. Hmmm. That will take a little thought. How to tell the difference? Well, for guys, if she looks better AFTER you’ve made love to her...

I’ll stand by you. And by stand I mean cower in your shadow. It’s probably cold there, so I’m going to knit myself a warm cat sweater to wear.

Guys get a bad rap for not wanting to talk about their feelings but maybe women are in part to blame for that. One thing that I learned from working with people where English was...

Some men want to go out with a bang. Personally, I’d rather not die from sex. I mean, what will my wife think when the police tell her?

I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I’d happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin.

And then there’s that person that no matter what, they’ll answer your call at 4 am. Your 4am-er. They’ll say exactly what you need to hear to bring you back to earth. Your comfort, your...

I never heard back from her after our first date, so either she’s dead, or she rejected me. I wonder where her funeral was held.

Others hide from being real by filling the air with words; the more words they throw out, the less actual communication happens and they are left with only an illusion of connection. This is the...

I had a couple of friends in high school. And by a couple I mean my parents.

I’ll stand by you forever. Or at least until noon, and then I’ll go stand under the cabana. Isn’t love amazing?

It’s my belief that people enter your life at exactly the right time.

About 5,280 feet.” It was true. Ever since the car ran out of gas a mile back, and we were forced to walk, I’ve been thinking a lot about life, love, and how much I...

We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf.

We made love like flamingoes are pink. You know what else was pink? My cheeks, because I was so embarrassed when I found out that she was the wrong woman.

Still, who could say what men ever were looking for? They looked for what they found; they knew what pleased them only when they saw it.

I can’t swim, because despite my love being shaped like Michael Phelps, it’s so heavy it’s like an anti flotation device. If I can barely even carry it, I can understand how it’s a burden...

The wall between writing and painting is just good grammar. Moderation in moderation. Fun is scary with a happy ending. Just love. If love doesn’t transform that which annoys you, it will be easier to...

Let’s start a new family.

I make love like a sandwich ate at my best friend. It’s only happened to me once, and I very nearly didn’t have to pay for it.

It’s scary when it’s real. When it’s not just thinking about a person, but, like, having a real live person in front of you, with, like, expectations. And wants.

I want to be a part of your world. Or, if that’s too much to ask, I’d accept being a part of your globe.

Of course it hurt that we could never love each other in a physical way. We would have been far more happy if we had. But that was like the tides, the change of seasons–something...

Nothing changes if nothing changes

Ethics”, and I said, Sure, I might enjoy a bit of stand-up comedy.

What was I to you?” he asked. She didn’t answer but turned and walked away. That’s when he knew: Nothing or everything.

Sometimes correct decisions are not good decisions

Each store will fulfil some of your needs, but no individual store can meet all of your needs. Learning how to set realistic expectations now and in future relationships requires you to examine each of...

You can’t be another person’s honesty, child, but you can be your own.

Don’t pour a lifetime of effort into a seasonal relationship. Not everyone from the pilot belongs in the finale.

You can be the ugliest man in the world but once you got money, you can have all the women in the world.

The city was alive, and so was he…

I can’t relate to your razzle-dazzle, your wish for voluptuous when my symphony is spanx.

I watched you try on suits in Hugo Boss.‘For the big job,’ you said. And I laughed, because I knew I would never see it. I’d never get up and watch you put it on...

Since graduating from HMS my greatest satisfaction has unequivocally been my family. My main disappointment is that I have wasted too much time in personal pursuits and been less of an influence for good than...

If we are not growing together, then we should not stay together.

You lose yourself, Erica, because with the right person, who you become together is something so much greater, more than you could even realize right now.

My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism.

We all want relationships that are healthy and resolved, and sometimes that simply doesn’t happen. But the beauty of life is that inside these disappointments are hidden the most miraculous of blessings. What we lose...

I feel like I’ve lived numerous lives…and you can explore my incarnations through my works.

I had a dream about you last night.We moved into a cabin in the countryside.I couldn’t handle the spiders.You couldn’t handle my drama.I moved back to the city.

God lures us into marriage through love and sex and loneliness, or simply the fact that someone finally paid attention – all those reasons that you got married in the first place. It doesn’t really...

As for myself: I had come to the conclusion that there was nothing sacred about myself or any human being, that we were all machines, doomed to collide and collide and collide. For want of...

So am I.

How dare you say it’s nothing to me?Baby, you’re the only light I ever saw.

There’s something I have to say,” I said seriously, looking her in the eye. She smiled. “Oookay.” She was mocking me-mocking my tone-but I didn’t care. “Okay. Here it is. I love you,” I said....

Love falls in love with love; comes like an echo sounding back, searches its mirrored shadow within a look.

A philosophical discussion ensued about right and wrong, and good and bad. Also about things to be ashamed of and things to be feel guilty about. Could anything carried out between two consensual adults be...