I hate when I’m at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, “Paper or plastic?” It’s offensive. As if I’m going to sleep with her just because she has a clever pick...

Fine! He is being passive aggressive with me, and it’s gonna backfire; I’m gonna be active friendly.

Civilization begins with distillation

A fool is a person who guesses and gets it wrong, a clever man is one who guesses, regardless of time period, and gets it right

There was a time when skepticism was an act of rebellion. Since to a degree I both believe in evolution and have faith, I can only conclude that, as prophesied, to have faith will someday...

You promise?””I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now.

Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing things.

Some say you have only one shot in life, well if you get ammo, you can reload.

I thought we were celebrating being richer and cleverer than everyone else!

You may not be the person with high IQ, but you can be the person with highest hard work.

The self-centered man will always expect nothing but praise. He will hope and expect all incoming criticism to be mere self-projection from the critic because when you’re self-centered, self-projection is all you can imagine one...

A brick makes an excellent window cleaner, if you throw it hard enough. Before you know it, your window will look so clean you’d think it had been replaced with a new one.

Clever wives are mostly silent ,alert and pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of emotions of family which creates and destroy HOMES.

Appeasement was never a very clever policy, and it should not be our option today.

The first and last weakness of his life, before him again. For a moment he felt himself blinded by his own memories; his own remembrances of the wits and wiles of Marian Halcombe that would...

Think of something clever, witty or profound, keep it short and people may quote you.

I like to spoon after I fork.

If I had felt always as much as I do sometimes, life wouldn’t be bearable.

Later, they also found a camp of outlaws who, when offered the chance to join the rebel ranks, unsheathed their daggers and threatened to cut the three into tiny, bloody pieces and eat them for...

When you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on

There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.

Whenever I think of something but can’t think of what it was I was thinking of, I can’t stop thinking until I think I’m thinking of it again. I think I think too much.

Please don’t arrest me.””Listen to me, I’m not going to arrest you, ok? I’m not a cop.””Are you sure?””Am I sure I’m not a cop? yes, I’m sure.””You could be undercover.

He forced himself forward trying to seem innocent without acting like someone who was guilty who was trying to act innocent.

Words simply mean what people think they mean when they say them.

To us — richer and cleverer than everyone else!

It’s an easy guess, why some get famous over night and not during the day.

The height of cleverness is in one’s ability to be very clever without seeming clever at all.

I was once in a battle trying to fight my way out when I realized it’s better to sneak out.

I don’t write like this in order to show how clever and well read I am–though I am rather clever and well read as a matter of fact.

Did we really come all that way?” She asked. “Time flies when you’re scared out of your mind.” He answered.

But I am a just man, even to my enemy—and I will acknowledge, beforehand, that they are cleverer brains than I thought them.