You can do this (this thing, where your body will cease to produce hormones and your skin, hair, muscles and bones… basically every part of you will notice, go into withdrawals, and stage a coup)....

I’d always assumed Beth and I would be friends forever. But then in middle of the eighth grade, the Goldbergs went through the World’s Nastiest Divorce.Beth went a little nuts.I don’t blame her. When her...

To a man, a woman is fun to be with … until she gains weight. To a woman, a man is fun to live with … until he loses his job.

Sacrifice brings with it huge results.

I buy my clothes large, so I feel comfortable gaining weight. When I love, I do it in two sizes—extra large, and refill.

I ate a pound cake today, but I gained two.

I got fat, and I decided to do something about it, so I got fatter.

My body looks the same, but I gained 20 pounds. The difference is that right now I have an erection, and before I didn’t.

I had a dream about you. You gained weight, but I didn’t mind because all the extra poundage went straight to your brain. You told me the meaning of life, but I was too skinny...

It may be easier to believe that we remain lean because we’re virtuous and we get fat because we’re not, but the evidence simply says otherwise. Virtue has little more to with our weight than...