A brick could be used like yellow sneezes hello every time love walks like a slinky down the stairs. Who used my shoe as a soup bowl?

A brick could be used to build a future with me. Come, let’s start a life together.

A blanket could be used to cause global warming. If you don’t want to future generations to die, I’d recommend shivering in your bare bed.

A brick could be used to measure the speed of gravity, but an apple offers a tastier option.

A blanket could be used as a screen to project animated bedtime stories onto, and also a place to project your fears about society not being accepting of adults who watch movies directed at an...

I pee whilst seated. But it’s hard to focus with people honking at me.

A blanket could be used to suffocate our secret desires. And what do I secretly desire? I desire suffocation, and that is why I must suffocate my desire.

It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

A brick could be used as brain filler for the political mind, just in case one of our elected officials needs a brain transplant to try to boost their intellectual capabilities.

A brick could be used like March 5th marches in a marching band. And guess what, as the marching band director, I am the cement that holds everyone’s shoes in sync at the bottom of...

A brick could be used as a fashion accessory. Or an accessory to murder. I believe the phrase is, “If looks could kill.

Just because I wear a size 14 shoe does not mean I’ll take it off when I go to shake your hand.

My internal voice raised its decibel level. Sam O. Same

Sometimes you don’t know what you’re looking for until it’s already knocked you flat on your back. -Cade

A blanket isn’t the solution, a blanket is the problem. I say we burn all the blankets, along with the bodies of the unbelievers.

A brick could be used to stop a bleeding wound. Though just between you and me, I’d prefer to be bandaged by a Band-Aid, a blanket, or a pair of lace panties (preferably red).

This is my building—and my office has the best possible view.”

For now. But if I ever decide you’re useless, you are a dead man.”To be killed by you is to be desired more than a life excluded from your service.”Bravo.” Her Imperial Viciousness laughed with...

Teen Spirit” I can offer you, if you’re interested.

A brick could be used to help defeat all incumbent politicians whose last name starts with Brj and anything after that alphabetically. Since people tend to vote for the first one on the ballot, Brick...

A brick could be used as a book cover. Talk about hardcover!

Marie Caroline Jensen, will you do me the honor of being my permanent bitch? -HORSE

Instead of putting flowers in books to flatten them you can use a brick.

Are you mad? Or have you been skulking around the bars of Barbary XIII?

Just like a summer sausage, and I’m not talking about the snack-sized ones. And it’s attached to a body that could put Dwayne Johnson to shame. What women could resist a package like that? I’d...